“I’m so sorry, Hailey,” he said as a tear dripped down his face. “I’m so sorry.”
“This isn’t your fault. You heard the doctor. We took a chance with this so close to my chemo. The obstetrician told us my organs were weak. It’s why I was a high-risk pregnancy to begin with,” I said.
“If our child doesn’t—”
“You stop that shit right now,” I said. “I’m the one bleeding out on an operating table. Find your balls and be strong.”
Bryan chuckled and shook his head before he bent down to kiss me.
“All right, Momma. I’m making the first incision. This is going to go quickly, and I won’t talk to you again until we’re about to give birth,” the doctor said.
“Okay,” I said.
“If you go into shock or need blood at any point in time, the anesthesiologist reserves the right to knock you out,” the doctor said.
I felt some pressure happening as my lower body was jerked around.
“Okay,” I said.
There was silence in the room as everyone stayed quiet. My eyes were trying to close, and Bryan kept kissing me awake. I felt exhausted. Worn down. Mentally drained and alone. This wasn’t how the birth of my child was supposed to go. This wasn’t the plan Bryan and I had set for ourselves.
“Okay,” the doctor said. “You’re going to feel some pressure on your upper abdomen, and then the countdown begins.”
I nodded my head as a tear trickled down my cheek.
I felt someone lean onto me before my stomach deflated. A nurse came and grabbed Bryan’s arm, jerking him from me. My head followed him as suction sounds came from beside me, and I felt my body being jerked around again.
Then, I heard the move beautiful sound in the entire world.
“Oh my...” Bryan said breathlessly. “Oh, Hailey, he’s ...”
“It’s a boy?” I asked.
I felt myself growing tired as my body began to relax.
“You have to take a look at him. Hailey, you were right. I can’t believe the ultrasound doctors were wrong. Wait, Hailey? Hailey!”
Bryan’s voice was getting farther and farther away as the room became frantic. I could hear my baby crying out for me as my breasts began to grow taut. I could only feel the pressure, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
“Put her out,” the doctor said. “And she’s going to need two pints of blood.”
“Hailey!”
Bryan’s voice was the last thing I remembered before everything went blank.
Chapter 27
Bryan
I stayed by my son’s side as the nurses and I gave him his first bath. But my mind was still with Hailey. They had pulled me out of the room so we could take our son for some tests, but my heart was still with Hailey. She was out on the table with her abdomen spread open, dying right there in front of my eyes. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way in hell I was losing Hailey today.
As I stood watching the nurses run their tests and give him his first shots, I felt numb, frozen in an instance of time. This was supposed to be a moment of rejoicing, a moment of happiness between the two of us. Instead, Hailey was on an operating table battling for her life while I sat in a room waiting for any news of her.
Despite our son being born early, he was still a healthy weight. The nurses said if Hailey had carried to term, she could’ve easily given birth to a ten-pound child. Tears rose in my eyes just hearing her name, and guilt washed over my body. I needed to be happy that I had a healthy baby boy.
But instead, I was ridden with guilt.
My tackle had caused all of this. Taking Hailey to the ground to protect her resulted in her being on an operating table. If I lost Hailey today, I would never forgive myself. I would never get over the fact that I had murdered the love of my life trying to save her life from her past.