If I Can't Have You - Page 55

Thank you, Whitney.

“It’s settled then.” Elliot snatches the keys from Whitney’s hand. “I’m driving.”

Elliot and I help Whit into the back seat of the car and she sprawls out, her mouth hanging open and starts snoring before I can even close the door. I climb into the passenger seat and fasten my seatbelt as Elliot hops into the driver’s side.

Neither one of us talks for the entire ride back to our dorm. Elliot whistles softly, tapping his hands against the steering wheel and I spend most of the ride staring out the window. But there are moments where I can feel Elliot’s eyes on me. His pools of gray-blue melt right through my skin and kick my already racing heart beat into overdrive.

Having him right next to me is difficult because I fight the better part of myself that’s telling me to hurl my body over the seat and smother him with my kisses. Then I fight the other part of myself that wants to break down and sob. And I’m struggling. A tiny tear trickles down my cheek and I swat it away quickly before he has the chance to see it. I’m a sliver of a crack in a glass windshield. I’m spreading, and widening and soon I’ll stretch all the way across.

The car comes to a stop in the student parking area of the dorm and I quickly wipe all of the emotion off my face and help Elliot carry Whit up to our dorm. Elliot waits outside the door while I undress Whit and put on her pajamas and after she’s sound asleep I walk him out.

In front of the building, I kick a rock down the sidewalk, eyes on the ground, refusing to look into his mesmerizing eyes. “Thanks for driving us home.”

“No problem,” he says. “I wanted to make sure you guys got home okay.”

I lift my eyes and glare at him. “Why?” His actions might have been thoughtful, but his attitude made it seem like he didn’t care at all. “And what about your girlfriend? You left her at the club.”

Elliot meets my gaze and narrows his eyes. “Again, she’s not my girlfriend. She didn’t come to the club with me and finally I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

I’ve reached my breaking point, the point of no return. He and I are about to have it out in front of the dorm and I don’t care who sees us. “You’re a hypocrite, you know that?” I snarl and jab my finger into his chest.

He swats my hand away. “Fuck this.”

He turns to walk away and I grip onto his arm and spin him back toward me. “Does the truth hurt, Elliot?” I release his hand and shake my head. “You know what? Go ahead and go. It’s what you do best.”

A spark of pain resonates in his baby blues. “Do you know you broke me after what you did with my brother?” He’s reached the point where he’s shouting. “I couldn’t eat! I couldn’t sleep! I walked around for the rest of summer feeling lost and empty! I’ve never fallen so hard for someone in entire life! I loov—.” He catches himself before he says the rest of his sentence.

“No! I wouldn’t know any of that because you wouldn’t talk to me!”

Me I’m thinking this is a crock of shit. So he’s fallen for me. So he’s about to say those three big words. When you love and care about someone you fight for it. You jump in head first and work out your issues along the way. You give love everything you have if you believe in it. All Elliot has ever done was walk away. When things got too tough he walked away. That’s something I used to do, but I’ve learned that love isn’t simple, it’s complicated and crazy and more often than not it’s worth the fight. “Elliot, you once told me I was just like Drake.”

“Yeah, so. It’s the truth.”

“No,” I gasp as a steady flow of tears stream from my eyes. I let out a crazy laugh. I’m falling apart in front of him, but at this point I don’t give a shit. “You are! You’re a coward, just like him!”

“I am not a coward!”

“You are!” I scream. “You’re the biggest coward I’ve ever met in my entire life!”

Cowards walk away from thin

gs that frighten them instead of sticking around and fighting it out. In this case I was the fight and Elliot chickened out. He didn’t even stick around long enough to try.

“You also said I can’t say for sure that I love you, Robin, but I wish you’d let me try. What was that shit?”

“It wasn’t shit!” He moves closer to me. Our bodies are almost touching and his eyes burn into mine. “That was the truth.”

“It’s not the truth,” I say, my eyes still locked with his. “Because you didn’t try, I did. I tried and tried and tried and you gave up on us!” Coward.

I turn to walk away and Elliot grabs my elbow. He lowers his voice. “I was afraid of you hurting me again. I never wanted to feel that kind of pain ever again. So I guess I am a coward.” I face him and close my eyes as more tears spill down my cheeks. He cups my face and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “But as much as I’ve tried to forget about us and what happened,” he exhales, “seeing you again was like a wakeup call. Seeing you again tells me that I can’t fight the way I feel about you anymore.”

“Then don’t,” I whisper.

“I’m not going to.”

I open my mouth to respond, but before I can Elliot presses his lips against mine. He envelopes me in his arms and kisses me hard. A kiss that’s full of love, passion, and ferocity. A kiss that’s full of beauty and unrequited bliss.

Our lips part and as the kiss deepens his tongue dances around in my mouth for a moment before he pulls out of the kiss, gazing lovingly into my eyes. “Robin, I’m—.”

Tags: Lauren Hammond Romance
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