Elliot narrows his eyes. “You sure looked like you weren’t enjoying it,” he says sarcastically. “For God’s sake you were making out with him in the middle of a fucking fair!”
“Not intentionally! Damn you Elliot, listen to me! I’m trying to you that I want you! I don’t care about Drake!”
Elliot shakes his head and turns his back to me. “Too bad you have a funny way of showing it.”
He reaches his boat and hops over the side of it. I follow him down the dock. I stand acro
ss from him, tears streaming down my cheeks, anguish written all over my face. I reach out for him with trembling fingers, but he just stares at me emotionless. “Elliot, please. Don’t do this. What was I supposed to do, huh? Did you want me to slug him?” Violence is not my style.
Elliot reaches over the side of the boat and pulls the anchor out of the water. Then he removes a rope that’s wrapped around a wooden post. “Maybe this is my fault too,” he says calmly. “I should have never let myself fall for someone who clearly has the hot’s for my brother.”
“I don’t have the hot’s for your brother,” I tell him as a thick wad of saliva takes up residence in my throat.
He leans over the side of the boat again placing both of his palms on the dock. He’s inches away from me and I can feel the heat from his body radiating onto mine. I reach out and touch his arm, desperate to feel his warm flesh beneath my fingertips, but the second I do, he yanks his arm away as if he’s disgusted by my touch, then he pushes the boat away from the dock with his free hand.
He boat drifts away from the dock and I listen as the engine roars, coming to life. Part of me is tempted to jump into the water and make a swim for it. I need him to let me finish. I need him to understand the way I feel about him. More than anything I need him to know that if I can’t have him, I don’t want anybody else.
I’ve heard people say that love doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve heard them say that it takes years to truly love someone. But that’s not true. I refuse to believe it. You can feel it in an instant. Sometimes all it takes is one glance and you know because loving someone is that powerful, that meaningful, that one true thing.
Love can happen overnight and it did with me and Elliot. I know it and can feel it just like I feel my heart beating in my chest.
So just before Elliot speeds off into the darkness I shout, “Please don’t go, Elliot. I love you! Don’t turn your back on me!”
But he doesn’t hear me. The roaring engine of the boat is too loud. Instead he gives me a tortured glance, bites his bottom lip, shakes his head and speeds off into the darkness.
I hit my knees, still calling out his name, but pretty soon he’s so far away I can’t even hear the boat engine. I feel sick and empty and lost. I feel broken and damaged and a dull pain throbs in my side. If this is what real heartbreak feels like I’m glad I’ve never experienced it before.
What I felt when Drake betrayed me was minor compared to this. What I felt when Drake betrayed me was like a tiny pin-prick to the heart. And this…
This feeling…
It feels like all of my organs are covered in flames. Burning and burning and burning. There’s nothing to put out the fire.
Yeah, love fucking hurts.
~27~
It is worth it to give love everything you have.
I’ve tried calling Elliot. He won’t return any of my calls. I’ve texted too.
Elliot plz talk 2 me
I’ve been tryin 2 get a hold of u
Plz text me back
He won’t return my texts either.
I’ve walked up and down the beach several times and I haven’t seen him around. I even went down to the docks. His boat is parked in its usual spot, but he isn’t there. So after pleading with my mom for thirty minutes, I get her to let me use the car.
I ask Whit if she wants to come, but she declines and says she’ll do me a favor by packing my suitcases for me. But she also says that I owe her for it. Typical Whit comment.
“You better hurry back with the car!” mom yells at me as I back out of the driveway. “We’re leaving in an hour!”
“I swear I’ll be back in twenty minutes!”
Now I’m on my way to Drake’s frat house, the place where Elliot is staying. It’s my last resort and even if he still won’t see me I know I have to try.