Then I have to wonder…
Am I dreaming?
Is this a nightmare?
I hope so because the thought of this moment being reality terrifies me.
Am I dreaming?
I don’t know, and what terrifies me more than anything is that I don’t know when or if I’m ever going to wake up.
And then I do…
When I wake up something strange happens.
I am walking through a darkened corridor.
Lanterns on the wooden walls light my path and shadows dance along the walls.
There’s a man crying.
Elijah.
I think that’s his name.
I think that I know this man.
I can hear him. His voice bleeds through the walls and I know that I have to go to him. I have to go to him because I love him. I ache when I’m not near him. And hearing the pain in his voice nearly cripples me.
Elijah sits at his desk. He’s sobbing, his hands fisted through his locks of gold, his chest heaving as he lets out another anguished cry. “Why, Adelaide?” he screams. “Why?” He raises his head slowly, his beautiful golden eyes brimming with tears, and he clenches his jaw. Suddenly the emotion in his features twists from sorrow to rage. He stands. His face is red hot like the hearth of a fire and in one swift motion he sweeps his arm along the length of his desk sending all of the papers, folders, pens, and paper weights clattering to the floor. He lets out another fierce anguished cry.
“Elijah, love. What’s wrong?”
My question is met with silence.
“Tell me, my love,” I press on. “What can I do to make it better?”
My words don’t seem to ease his suffering at all. He begins pacing behind his desk, hands balled in fists at his side. He stops mid-pace and in an abrupt reaction he picks up the antique globe next to his desk and he chucks it with force into the wall. “Why Adelaide?” he repeats his previous question and falls back into his chair in a heap.
I’ve reached the point where I can no longer hold back my tears and I rush to him, clinging to his arm and crying, “I can’t take this. I can’t take seeing you like this, Elijah. Please. You’re breaking my heart.” I’d give anything to take away his pain. I’d give anything to whisper heartfelt words into his ear and let him know that everything will be all right. That we will be all right.
“Just tell me why?” he says. “Was it because I loved you too much? Wanted to keep you close? Was it because I allowed you to banish the darkness inside of me and becoming my never ending light?”
I sob harder. “I don’t understand. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lace my fingers through his, aching for him to look me in the eye, but he won’t. “Elijah, please tell me.”
He sits up and moves swiftly and it’s not until then that I see the glint of metal in the dim lighting of the office that I start to panic. “No,” I say inaudibly. “No.” My voice goes up to barely above a whisper. “No.” Now it’s a strained rasp and I feel like no is the only word in my entire vocabulary. “No.”
Elijah palms the gun with trembling fingers and my hands are on his shoulders. I am shaking him. There’s no effect. My force has no effect. “No, Elijah!” I scream. “No!”
Elijah lifts the gun to his lips and my heart stops beating. I pry on the weapon, trying to wrestle it out of his grasp. “No! Elijah! Don’t do this please! If not for me then for Willow! She loves her Daddy! Please!” I hit my knees curling my arms around the back of his legs. “Please, don’t do this!”
“I can’t live without you, Adelaide,” he murmurs mechanically. “Why did you have to die?”
I bury my head into his knees and scream at the top of my lungs. “But I’m not
dead! I am NOT dead!”
“I’ll be seeing you,” he whispers and I peer up at him just to see a faint, ghost-like smile on his lips. His finger slips over the trigger. At that moment, I scramble and yank on his legs, tugging with as much force as I can muster. “No Elijah!” I’ve resorted to shrieking. “I love you! Don’t do this!”