Yet he was the one who broke off the kiss. In an agony of desire, he rolled over onto his back, breathing harshly. He had vastly overestimated his control, he knew that now.
Draping an arm over his forehead, Nick sucked in a deep breath. He was still aching, his hardened shaf
t cramping beneath his breeches. But he didn't dare continue kissing Aurora. It had been a mistake even to touch her.
Beside him, she unsteadily rose up on her elbow, her hair sliding over her shoulders in an untamed fall of pale gold. She looked shaky, uncertain, as she gazed at him with wonder and concern in her wide blue eyes. She'd felt the same powerful forces that he had, he knew. The pure carnal desire. The raw, primal need that still throbbed through him. The intense, heart-wrenching feeling of intimacy that he'd never experienced with any other woman.
Oh, yes, the bond between them was very real.
"You can't pretend," he murmured, his voice edged with hoarseness, "that there is nothing between us."
"That… was only lust."
"Four months is indeed a long time for a man to be without a woman," he said wryly. "But I've endured longer abstinences. And my lust doesn't explain your response, dearheart. Come now, admit it. You wanted more than a kiss from me."
Her hand rose to her lips, still lush and wet from his kiss, and another fierce ache surged through Nicholas. The temptation to take her was so great, he had to lock his jaw against the yearning inside him.
He had best leave, before his resistance shattered, before he gathered Aurora in his arms and ravished her till they were both too exhausted to care about such matters as scandal and mortal danger.
Untangling himself, Nick rose and began to dress, aware that she was watching him warily.
"You really are leaving?" Aurora asked finally as he shrugged into his tunic.
"I said I would."
Evidently she didn't trust him to keep his word about settling for merely a kiss. And she clearly was still troubled about their situation.
"But what about our marriage, Nicholas? You do agree that we should not try to carry on as husband and wife? That we should live separate lives?"
Now wasn't at all a good time to admit he intended to claim her for his wife. "That does seem the best option at the moment."
He could almost sense her relief. His response evidently emboldened her to remark further.
"I do wish you would reconsider remaining in England and return home."
"My business here isn't yet concluded," Nicholas replied – not really a lie; Aurora was his business. He started to tie his costume's sash around his waist, but changed his mind. "I will, however, leave my sash and saber in your keeping. A pirate wandering the streets might arouse suspicion."
"It might indeed," Aurora replied with a renewed tartness. "You are bound to be discovered if you insist on this mad impersonation."
He flashed her a bold grin and finished dressing. When he had flung his cloak around his shoulders, tying the cords loosely at his throat, she was still regarding him with disapproval.
Nicholas hesitated. This was the first time in his life he could remember leaving a woman's bed without first finding satisfaction – or fully giving it. And this woman was his wife. With her sleep-tousled hair and passion-bruised lips, Aurora was so beautiful it made him ache.
He couldn't help himself. Returning to the bed, he took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.
"Nicholas!" she exclaimed breathlessly, drawing back. "You promised you would leave!"
"Lower your voice, love, or the servants will hear," he warned. "That was only a farewell kiss. It might be days before we even speak again."
He picked up the journal and tucked it inside the pocket of his cloak. Going to the window then, he eased himself up to sit on the sill and swung his legs over.
With one last, lingering look, he disappeared.
Aurora fell back on the bed, relief flooding her, her heart still beating violently from his kiss, her body throbbing with the restless yearning he'd kindled in her.
It frightened her, the tumult of emotions Nicholas aroused in her so effortlessly: exasperation, anger, exhilaration, desire…
He was not the kind of man for which a woman could hope to maintain indifference. He was unpredictable, bold, threatening. The kind of man who would overwhelm a woman with passion, with desire, with need. Who would command her heart as well as her body.