For long moments at a time she was even able to dismiss her misgivings about Danielle as mere imaginings. Indeed, it was only when Kyle was away from her that her doubts about their marriage returned to assail her. He wanted her physically, Selena was certain. He had proved that very thoroughly with his passionate lovemaking during all the wonderful nights he had visited her room. Yet she couldn’t dispel the haunting fear that Kyle’s feelings for her could never go beyond physical desire.
Accordingly, she had examined in minute detail, over and over again, every word Kyle had said that first night. He had declared he wanted her for his wife, admitting his appreciation for her domestic skills. She made his life bearable, he’d said, even happy. But he had also asked her about Edward. The question had puzzled Selena at the time, yet the longer she considered it, the more it disturbed her. Had Kyle perhaps been trying to tell her something? Had he mentioned her love for Edward to prepare the way for his own revelation? Had he meant to admit that he loved Danielle, but then lost the courage?
The possibility nearly drove her to distraction. She should never, Selena realized, have allowed Kyle to introduce such a disquieting subject and then suddenly drop it. She should have pressed him to explain. Even knowing he loved Danielle would be better than living with this dreadful uncertainty.
And yet she couldn’t bring herself to ask the question that would end it, for with the end of uncertainty might also come the end of hope.
She couldn’t forget, however, how easily Danielle Whitfield seemed to draw men’s love. That thought had been uppermost in Selena’s mind when she’d faced her duty and called at the mercantile to inquire how Danielle was faring. It concerned Selena to see her looking so pale. Danielle appeared subdued and saddened by her bereavement, yet she was facing her loss with a courage Selena couldn’t help but admire. So in spite of her jealous misgivings, Selena felt genuinely sorry when Danielle again refused any offer of help from her.
At least Danielle had Orrin Chandler’s support. Orrin’s affection for the beautiful widow was quite apparent, yet her behavior was always so circumspect that Selena couldn’t tell if Danielle returned his feelings. And she didn’t feel, under the circumstances, that she had the right to ask about it.
Orrin’s unhopeful pursuit of Danielle wasn’t the only relationship that concerned Selena, either. She had been worried that Lydia might somehow prevail on Tanner Parkington to elope, after all, and so she’d never relaxed her vigilance.
It seemed, however, that Parkington was too honorable and too intelligent to jeopardize his future by plunging them into a scandal, for he barely made time to speak to Lydia. Indeed, the young man was taking his responsibilities as factor so seriously that he was in grave danger of offending his love.
Selena had been in the hall outside the schoolroom when she overheard Felicity taunting Lydia about it.
“Well, that’s no reason to snap at me,” Felicity protested after she had just been called “a little beast” by her elder sister. “You’re just miffed because Tanner Parkington is paying more attention to our cotton fields than to you.”
“He is not!” Lydia retorted. “Tanner loves me.”
“I don’t know what you see in him, anyway. I think he’s boring.”
“No one asked your opinion.”
“Well, I’m never going to fall in love and allow some man to break my heart.”
“You needn’t be concerned that any man would be interested in breaking your heart. No doubt you’ll remain a spinster all your life.”
“Exactly! I don’t intend to marry,” Felicity announced airily. “I mean to manage my own plantation.”
“Girls can’t manage plantations.”
“They can so! Selena did. She told me.”
“Oh, why don’t you just go away, Felicity?”
Zoe spoke up then in her soft voice, reminding Felicity that she had lessons to finish, and so it wasn’t necessary for Selena to intervene in the dispute or even to mention that she had overheard it when she entered the schoolroom a few minutes later. Yet the knowledge that Lydia was discussing her affaire with Tanner openly and no longer keeping it a secret relieved Selena and gave her reason to hope that at least one problem at Montrose would eventually work itself out.
After she had finished her letter to Beth, Selena’s thoughts turned to another matter: Kyle’s interest in steamboats. The previous day, when Bea and Thaddeus had come to dinner, Thaddeus had mentioned that in the next session the members of the legislature planned to address the need for a regular steamboat service for Natchez. It would be a perfect opportunity, Selena realized, for Kyle to pursue his venture.
She was aware that Kyle had given up the idea of starting a steamboat company, at least temporarily, for the sake of the plantation and his sisters, but she desperately wanted him to be happy in his chosen occupation. Despite his success with the plantation, despite his avowal that he was growing accustomed to working the land, Kyle wasn
’t a farmer. What he needed was interests and challenges outside his plantation and family.
And perhaps she had another more selfish reason, Selena reflected. Kyle had refused her dowry out of a sense of honor, because he didn’t want to feel like a “blasted fortune hunter,” or so he’d said. Yet she still wasn’t certain he wanted to remain married to her. It would provide some measure of compensation, Selena decided, if she could supply the means that enabled him to pursue his dream. And in some twisted application of logic that originated more in her heart than her head, she rationalized that if Kyle accepted her dowry, he would be committing himself to her fully.
That night, as they lay together in the warm darkness, Selena renewed their last discussion about steamboats by bringing up the subject of the legislative session. She was surprised when Kyle seemed less than enthusiastic about attending.
“The legislative session?” he murmured. He found it difficult to focus his thoughts on business after the passion they had just shared.
“You remember what Thaddeus said. Tomorrow the assembly plans to discuss the need for a regular steamboat service.”
“Selena… it isn’t really crucial that I go.”
“That wouldn’t be wise, would it? If you aren’t there to show your interest, the legislature may grant a charter to someone else. Besides, even if you mean to wait for a year or two before you purchase any steamboats, wouldn’t it be better for you to be in on the discussions at the start?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”