His tone was surprisingly hard, almost a demand, and Madeline was taken aback. Yet she answered evenly. “No, I am not.”
“Then I don’t see the difficulty.”
She raised her eyes to the ceiling. “The difficulty, my lord, is that I don’t care to enter into a loveless marriage, either.”
When he failed to reply, she glanced up at him. “I still don’t believe you truly wish to marry me. If it is not charity, then you are simply acting on impulse.”
“Perhaps. I am following my instincts, and my instincts have served me well these past many years.”
“They are mistaken in this instance. Come, admit it. You don’t want to wed me.”
His mouth curved. “I admit that you would be doing me an immense kindness if you accept my offer. I could call off my search for a bride and wouldn’t have to endure any more vapid debutantes.”
She gave a humorless laugh. “Ah, now we get to the heart of the matter.”
“I was jesting.”
“But I am not.”
“Tell me why you don’t wish to marry me,” he challenged.
Madeline shivered. It was not that she didn’t want to marry Haviland. On the contrary. He was offering her a future she could only imagine in her wildest dreams. Yet she would be taking an enormous risk by accepting him. So uneven a match—a plain, penniless spinster wedding a handsome, charismatic lord who had no interest in love—would likely lead to unhappiness and even heartache for her.
She was already far too enamored of Haviland. She had never met a man who could fire her passion and inspire her as he did. If she were freely offered any husband in the world, she would choose him without a doubt. He was heroic, compassionate, intelligent, generous, alluring…. From the very first he had bowled over her wits and her senses.
And therein lay the trouble. She was much too susceptible to falling in love with him, while her ardor would remain unrequited.
Haviland must have seen her shiver, since he reached back to close and latch the window while he waited for her to gather her thoughts. Madeline was grateful for his consideration, even though the chill seeping into her heart had nothing to do with the night air wafting into the nursery.
When she spoke, however, she tried to keep her response light. “I am idealistic enough to want love in my marriage.”
His expression turned enigmatic, his tone cool. “Love is vastly overrated in my experience.”
Searching his face, Madeline knew that she had read his sentiments correctly. He obviously did not care about such maudlin emotions as love. Yet she did. Fervently.
Granted, she had never really expected to find the wonderful love her parents had known. And she was prepared to be stoic about her loss. Yet if she wed Haviland now, she would likely be cutting off any hope of true love—and she couldn’t bring herself to destroy her dreams just yet.
Madeline had no intention, however, of revealing her deepest yearnings and fears to him.
“You have yet to mention any of my faults,” she said instead. “I am far too outspoken, to begin with.”
He seemed prepared for that argument. “I can deal with outspokenness. In truth, I find your frankness as refreshing as your honesty.”
She had always felt free to speak her mind with Haviland because she’d thought he would never look twice at her. Now, however, she was feeling highly self-conscious.
“But I am much too plain for someone like you, my lord. The fact that you proposed to the Duchess of Arden before you offered for me only proves my point. You are a man. You want beauty in your wife.”
“Not necessarily. Beauty like hers can be cause for jealousy and strife. I value loyalty over beauty any day.”
Madeline winced, even though she didn’t think he meant his remark as a slight. Averting her gaze, she murmured in an offhand way, “If you want loyalty, you should purchase a dog.”
He
didn’t laugh or even smile as she expected. Instead, surprisingly, Haviland placed a finger under her chin and compelled her to look at him. “You have little faith in your feminine appeal, don’t you?”
It was unnerving, the way he seemed to know her thoughts. “I see no reason to delude myself.”
Haviland’s gaze softened. “You may not be considered a ravishing beauty, Madeline, but you are not plain in the least. A liveliness of spirit can make up for any number of physical imperfections.”