Silence reigned for a time. Then Heath came to sit beside her on the sofa. “I suppose I should be flattered. And encouraged. I must be making progress in my courtship if you were roused to jealousy.”
The faint hint of humor in his tone made Lily stiffen. “Don’t raise your hopes too high, my lord. I still have no intention of marrying you.”
She felt his gaze intensify on her again. “You acknowledge your jealousy, but you won’t consider my proposal? That makes little sense. Why are you so damned set against marrying me, Lily?”
“I told you why.”
“Because your parents’ union was hostile. It doesn’t follow that ours will be so.”
Squaring her shoulders, Lily looked up. “If you had experienced their battles all during your childhood, you would not be so eager to wed, either.”
His gaze bored into hers. “So you believe our marriage would be a battleground, like theirs was.”
“I…don’t know,” Lily finally said. “But I am not willing to risk it. I don’t wish to be miserable for the rest of my life, the way my mother was.”
A muscle flexed in Heath’s jaw. “You are equating me with your father again.” When Lily refused to comment, he made a sound like a growl. “What did he do to your mother that was so terrible?”
Lily swallowed, her stomach clenching with the old, old pain. “I don’t wish to discuss it.”
“Damn and blast it, Lily! How can I defend myself as being different from your father if I haven’t a clue what he did?”
“Very well…” The pain welled up inside as she choked out the words. “If you must know…he struck her! He beat her with his fists and felled her to the floor and then kicked her till she screamed. And I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear it! So I grabbed up a knife and told Papa to leave her alone or I would kill him. And I meant it. I would have killed him had he raised his fists against her again. Is that what you wished to hear?”
Her voice had risen practically to a shout, and when she ceased, her breath came in hoarse, uneven pants.
Heath stared at her, his expression arrested. Lily stared back, gritting her teeth fiercely, refusing to look away. But her chest felt hard and heavy and tight, while the back of her throat ached and her eyes stung with tears.
His expression softened then, and she read sympathy in the perceptive hazel depths.
Swallowing hard, Lily averted her gaze from Heath’s suddenly gentle one. She didn’t want his sympathy, his pity. She didn’t want his tender touch, either-yet she was given no choice. She felt the warm, sliding pressure of his fingers as they raised her chin, compelling her to regard him.
“So you were forced to protect your mother from your father’s violence,” he said, his tone very gentle.
Nodding, Lily sat there rigidly, struggling to hold on to her composure. Her voice was a tearful rasp when she finally spoke. “My greatest regret was that I couldn’t help her further. A year later Mama finally took a lover to allay her misery, and then she was banished from her home and even her country. You…you know about the resulting scandals.”
For a span of several heartbeats, Heath remained silent. Then he reached up to capture her face carefully between his palms. “I would never strike you, Lily. Never. I would never be physically violent with a woman, no matter the provocation.”
She searched his face, his intent expression, and could give him no argument. Somehow she was certain Heath would not hurt her physically…but emotionally was another matter altogether.
“Even so, I won’t allow any man to have that kind of power over me. As your wife, by law I would be little more than your chatte
l. If you chose to beat me-or even kill me-I would have no recourse.”
Reflexively, Heath clenched his jaw at the ludicrous notion that he would ever raise a hand to Lily, although he supposed he could appreciate her perspective, even if it frustrated the devil out of him. But he forced himself to hide his frustration as he smoothed the knuckles of his hand across her cheekbone.
Seeing her dark eyes so big and bright with incipient tears, he felt a fierce surge of protectiveness toward her-along with an intense, burning need to dig up her father from his grave and punish him for what he’d done to his wife and daughter.
At least now, however, Heath better understood Lily’s fervent desire for independence. Her determination to carve out her own destiny. Her fear of putting her fate in any man’s hands. Even her stubborn determination to place him in the same category as her bastard father. With her bitter experience, she couldn’t trust that he would be any different.
When his hand slid lower, giving a delicate massage to the curve of her neck, Lily stiffened and pulled back, obviously discomfited.
“If you will pray excuse me…” Dashing a hand over her eyes to wipe away any trace of tears, she rose abruptly to her feet. Her fingers knotting together, she glanced down at Heath. “I am sorry if I made you angry by allowing Ada to attempt your seduction, but perhaps it was for the best. Now you know why I can never consent to be your wife.”
With that barely audible murmur, she turned and quit the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Heath sat there for a long while after she had gone, contemplating his courtship of Lily and how he should respond to her revelation.
For one thing, he would have to show her indisputably that he was far, far different from her father, or any of the other men she’d known who treated women like chattel or used violence to hurt and dominate.