Not wanting to accept it, Lily forcibly quelled the ache in her chest and eased away from Heath, purposely breaking the poignant feeling of intimacy between them.
He evidently sensed her withdrawal, though, for he reached out to pull her closer, fitting her body to his. Lily stiffened with resistance, even as her traitorous senses relished the contact with his virile warmth.
He held her like that for a long moment, his lips tenderly kissing her hair, his fingertips skimming over her arm, her back, her hip, her thigh. She could feel the rigid length of his manhood pressed against her belly, yet he made no move to seek his own carnal release.
“Don’t you…intend to do more?” Lily finally asked hoarsely.
“Not now.” His hushed murmur caressed her ear. “I want to, believe me. I want nothing more than to stay here with you and make love to you all night long, to show you that lovemaking can be even better when it is fully consummated. But I won’t until you agree to wed me.”
He was in pain from his intense arousal, she knew that much from his recent lessons. And she thought it only fair that she offer to assuage his discomfort. “I can attend to you…if you wish. The way we did in your carriage.”
There was a pained smile in Heath’s voice when he responded. “I would rather wait for the real thing, Lily. I demonstrated what I needed to tonight, so I am satisfied for now.”
The trouble was, she wasn’t satisfied. Heath had given her remarkable pleasure, but she still felt…incomplete somehow.
When she was silent, his hands returned to cradle her head-the same gentle hands that had stroked her body to such arousing effect-and tilted her face up to his so that she had to look at him.
“I wanted you to know passion, sweetheart, so you will understand what you are giving up by eschewing marriage. You don’t want to remain a spinster all your life, wasting your nights in emptiness, alone in your chaste, virginal bed. And someday soon I hope to make you believe it.”
She already did believe one thing, Lily acknowledged to herself. She didn’t want to remain a virgin forever. Not after experiencing the stunning passion Heath had showered upon her.
Lily squeezed her eyes closed at the undeniable realization. Heath’s strategy had succeeded. The truth was, she wanted to be this man’s lover.
Even if she didn’t wish to marry him, even if she didn’t want his tenderness, she wanted to know the magical mysteries of passion and desire that he could unveil to her.
Chapter Eleven
I was eager to divert his lordship’s attention away from me, but I never expected to kindle my own jealousy.
– Lily to Fanny
Lulled by the sensual haven Heath had created for her, Lily fell asleep in his arms, physically sated yet with her thoughts in turmoil. And when he woke her sometime during the night, whispering that he didn’t want to be discovered in her bed, the parting kiss he gave her aroused her turmoil all over again, along with her deplorable longings.
Dismayed by her weakness, Lily rose and donned her nightdress before returning alone to her bed. But she spent the remainder of the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep, powerless to forget Heath’s touch, his scent, his warmth, his tenderness. And she rose early, bleary-eyed and fatigued and muttering invectives against her lamentable response to his cunning tactics.
Not only had he given her a taste of wonder, he’d left her craving his passion and fighting the temptation to take their relationship even further.
Trying to crush the scalding memory of his lovemaking, Lily washed and dressed as she considered her dilemma. Regrettably, she couldn’t think about leaving London just yet in order to avoid Heath. Even though her tutorial services wouldn’t be needed now that the soiree was over, she had agreed to play the courting game with him, and honorably, she would have to see it through to the conclusion, particularly since he had fulfilled his part of the bargain by bringing suitable candidates to the soiree. Besides, her friends’ debt to O’Rourke still remained unpaid.
But clearly, Lily reminded herself, she couldn’t afford to let down her guard with Heath any more than she already had. Most certainly she had to stop herself from such foolishness as yearning to be his lover.
Perhaps she should even start preparing for the disturbing possibility that he might actually win their game. He had an entire week left to earn only two more points and the right to court her publicly for another quarter.
Which meant it was imperative that she begin building an emotional wall between them, Lily realized. Otherwise she would leave herself much too vulnerable to him.
Lily was still contemplating how to improve her defenses when she went down to breakfast. To her surprise she found the dining room occupied by both Fleur and Chantel in addition to Ada Shaw. It was rare that the elderly beauties rose before ten.
Ada looked as contented as the proverbial cat who’d drunk an entire pot of cream, while the older courtesans were smiling broadly.
“Our soiree was a grand success, Lily,” Fleur said at once. “Fourteen of our girls made arrangements for new patrons.”
“Yes,” Ada chimed in. “And I made the best conquest of all. I found a rich earl who will be setting me up as his mistress.”
“And I,” Chantel added happily, “believe that Lord Poole is interested in me once more. If I play my cards right, I may be able to persuade Poole to contribute to our debt fund.”
“You forget,” Fleur drawled wryly, “that cards are what got us into this predicament in the first place.”