Ian ran a hand roughly through his hair as he struggled to define his feelings for his beautiful wife. He wanted to make Tess smile, of course. He wanted her happiness more than his own. He wanted her to need him, not just for her causes, not just in his bed, but in her life.
And if that was not love, then what was it?
Fanny was positively glowing, Tess thought when they met in the drawing room before dinner. They were the only ones present as yet, and Fanny didn’t hesitate to share her joy.
“Tess, I am so happy, I am beside myself. Basil proposed to me while you were away this afternoon!”
“I am elated for you,” Tess said, embracing her friend warmly. She started to ask for details, but Fanny obliged before she could say another word.
“Basil says he love me … that he has always loved me and he doesn’t want to live without me.”
“Of course he feels that way. He has worn his heart on his sleeve for months now. I could see it, even if you could not.”
“Yes, but my wicked past … I didn’t dare let myself believe that Basil could overlook everything I have done. But he says he loves me, and since I love him, the rest doesn’t matter.”
Fanny paused to beam another ecstatic smile. “You were right, Tess. Basil was willing to forgive me because he loves me. And I was right about the other. This afternoon we made love for the first time, and it was different from any coupling I have ever experienced … much, much more wonderful. I know it was because of the love between us.” The c
ourtesan squeezed Tess’s hands. “Love makes all the difference, Tess. I do so wish you could find love again.”
Tess’s smile faded as she tried to think of how to respond.
“I would say,” Fanny added in a leading tone, “that the prospects for you finding love in your marriage are improving rapidly.”
Fortunately Basil entered the drawing room just then and claimed Fanny’s attention.
Glad for the diversion, Tess immediately congratulated him on their engagement. But while the two unlikely lovers were sharing a private moment whispering sweet nothings to each other, her thoughts returned to her conflicted feelings for her husband.
There was little question that her marriage was improving, Tess acknowledged, but that in itself was a problem. Her desire for Ian was growing daily. He could arouse her with just a glance. A mere touch made her blood heat, thick and rich. She had never had to fight such powerful, overwhelming lust before.
The fact that she wanted him so much roused an unsettling guilt inside Tess. She had never desired Richard that fiercely. She had loved her betrothed, however, and felt as if she ought to remain true to him in her heart, even though he was long gone.
Other comparisons between the two men continued to haunt her also. Richard had been wonderful and charming, but a bit young and immature, almost more boy than man. In contrast, Ian was all man, much more masculine and mature. As her lover, the physical pleasure Ian gave her was incredible.
Yet something was missing. The truth was, they were caught up in a game of passion and power, with little real emotion between. Their lovemaking, while explosive, was not as emotionally satisfying as it could have been. Nothing like the fulfillment that Fanny claimed to have found with Basil—
Tess abruptly quelled that subversive thought. She was quite happy—vastly relieved, in fact—that their marriage was founded on a strictly carnal basis. She was coming to believe that Ian was not as wicked as she’d always thought. The more she came to know him, the more good she saw in him. But loving him was out of the question. She would be mad to let herself succumb to his seductive arts.
When Ian appeared in the doorway a moment later, his intent gaze met hers across the room. Sensing danger, Tess glanced away quickly.
She would hold to her current strategy, she resolved firmly. She would do her utmost to hide her weakness for Ian and maintain their adversarial relationship. She would continue to keep her memories of Richard in the forefront of her mind and heart and purposely stoke her feelings of guilt.
Really, she had no choice. For her own self-protection, she had to use every weapon at her disposal to prevent her desire for Ian from growing strong enough to captivate her heart.
Why has the threat of danger to Ian left me so shaken?
—Diary Entry of Miss Tess Blanchard
Tess shivered as midnight neared. For over three hours she’d waited on the battlements with Fanny and Basil and Ned Crutchley, hidden behind the crenellations. A chill wind cut through her cloak, while the cold from the stone seeped into her bones.
Ned was close beside her, watching the cove through another arrow port, and Fanny and Basil were a short distance away. In the dim moonlight, Tess could make out the beach below the castle, although visibility was further reduced by a thick cloud cover that portended rain. Occasionally, she could even see the dark shadows of militia troops.
Ian had stationed the government soldiers around the castle, disguised as groundskeepers and various other servants. Half a dozen men were inside the cave, secreted in the tunnel. Several more troops were concealed at the base of the bluffs, out of sight of the cave entrance. There was also an armed Revenue cutter standing offshore to cut off escape by sea. If the thieves managed to elude the ambush, the cutter would be alerted by lantern signal.
Tess shifted restlessly, trying to ease the ache in her limbs from remaining motionless for so long. Her nerves felt acutely on edge, for although they had planned as well as humanly possible, she had difficulty believing that nothing would go wrong.
Beside her, Ned seemed surprisingly calm. He’d been included in the proceedings, since he could identify Jolly Banks and his men and determine if any were missing, and he had sworn to help.
“Ye need a spot of patience, yer grace,” Ned whispered now at her movement. “In the Army, we had to wait days, even weeks, for a battle to begin.”