His gaze narrowing on his sister, Ash slowly levered himself to a sitting position. “Did she tell you so?”
“No, not in so many words. Maura is not one to share her feelings, even with me. But I know it in my bones.”
“Your bones are hardly the best judge of her feelings.”
“And you are?” Kate put her hands on her hips. “Speaking of feelings, how do you feel about her, Ash? Do you love her?”
He no longer had difficulty answering that question. He loved Maura deeply. The fear he’d felt this morning at seeing her life threatened had relentlessly driven that truth home to him. “Yes, I love her.”
His sister exhaled in relief. “Then why the devil did you let her go? She is your ideal match. Surely you see that by now.”
He’d come to the same conclusion this morning when Maura had fought by his side, defending him with her bare hands regardless of the peril she faced. Or perhaps his revelation had come last night, when he’d held her in his arms and joined their bodies, moving inside her in perfect rhythm.
If Maura wasn’t his consummate match, then he didn’t have one on this earth. She fit him as no other woman had or could.
Ash stared down at the last of the golden brandy in his glass as he pondered his inexorable transformation. He hadn’t truly believed he would ever know true love—or more accurately, that he would ever allow himself to feel love. He’d never wanted to risk that kind of pain. After losing his parents, he’d held himself emotionally distant from outsiders, never letting any woman close enough to touch his heart. He had never expected to live up to his family’s celebrated legacy and find his one true mate. Yet he couldn’t be a dispassionate, uninvolved bystander any longer. Not with Maura.
Loving her felt profoundly right, and he yearned for her love in return.
Absently Ash gulped a mouthful of brandy. He felt the burn all down his tight chest into his rioting stomach, yet he was more keenly aware of the hot fear that had gnawed at him since Maura had broken off their engagement and declared her intention of returning home. In that moment, he had frozen solid with fear. His mind and heart and body had simply shut down, Ash remembered.
The only response he could think of just then was to clutch at straws. His pronouncement about Maura possibly carrying his child was a desperate way to bind her to him—and the very least romantic declaration he could have made. It was no wonder she had taken his reaction as evidence that he cared nothing for her.
On the other hand … despite Kate’s avowals, he had difficulty believing that Maura loved him. Oh, she was grateful to him, Ash knew. She had told him so on more than one occasion. The irony was that he’d done his level best to earn her gratitude over the past sennight, but he feared gratitude was all he had.
He looked up to find Kate watching him closely, waiting for his answer.
“Whatever my feelings for her,” he finally said, “I doubt Maura believes herself to be my match. She feels indebted to me, nothing more. That isn’t love. I don’t want her accepting my hand in marriage because of a misplaced sense of obligation. I want more than that.”
“Then why didn’t you tell her so? In fact, why don’t you tell her so now? What are you waiting for?”
What indeed? Ash wondered. Was it fear keeping him here, planted on his sofa, trying to drown his desolate thoughts with expensive liquor?
“You must go after her, Ash,” Katharine prodded when he was silent.
“I will. Just not for a while yet.”
“How long is a while?”
“A day or two. A week at most.”
Exhaling in relief, Kate smiled in approval. “Excellent.” Moving closer, she bent down to kiss his cheek. “If there is anything I can do to help you—”
“You’ve done more than enough as it is,” Ash said dryly.
“I know.” Her smile turned self-satisfied. “Thanks to me, you had the opportunity to test if Maura was your legendary lover. But it is up to you to make her love you.”
Ash didn’t dispute his sister’s observation and in fact scarcely noticed when she left the room. He did know one thing, though. He couldn’t force Maura’s love. He had to earn it. He might have gained her respect this past week, but winning her heart was a much more immense challenge.…
His gaze narrowed as he focused on the dilemma he faced. Maura had to come to him of her own free will, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do his damnedest to influence her feelings. She belonged to him—he would just have to make her see it.
However, he would give her a little time to adjust to the significant changes in her life, chiefly to gain some distance from her anguish over her late father. Ash wanted to make a fresh start with Maura. He also had to make certain that her nemesis was out of her life for good. Deering might have poisoned her feelings for any man.…
Ash shook off that dismal reflection and came to a new resolve. Even a few days of waiting would doubtless be interminable, but he wasn’t ever giving up. He would allow Maura a sufficient interval to reflect and sort out her feelings for him. But if she didn’t love him now, he would hound her until she did.
Ash felt a determined smile curve his mouth. Maura was his life’s mate, he knew that now without a doubt. He’d felt that remarkable bond between them last night when he’d made love to her, and again this morning when she’d come to his rescue.
He simply had to make her recognize it as well.