“They never really liked it that I was queer, but they treated it like Clint’s bad moods. They wished things were a little different, but knew that saying something wouldn’t change anything, so they just let it go,” he said. “By the time I met Will, they were pretty well used to it, and they were kind as could be to him. Will got along real well with Clint’s momma.”
I smiled.
“Sounds like she was a good woman,” I said.
“The best,” Brandon said, firmly. “You couldn’t meet a kinder, more hard-working soul.”
“She could cook like a dream?” I asked, smiling a little.
“Absolutely. She kept the house spotless and the table full, and always had time for me and Clint when we were little,” Brandon said.
He laughed a little.
“Okay, and when we were grown,” he continued. “We still took our bumps and scrapes to her.”
“What else did she do?” I asked. “Besides being a wife and mother, what else was she like?”
Brandon looked sidelong at me.
“Not a whole hell of a lot,” he admitted. “She went to church, some, but this place is such a ways out she didn’t go every week. She went to the library once a month and got a big pile of books, always had a stack on her bedside table. She’d go out to visit her friends on the ranches nearby, and she always helped out when someone was sick or had a baby.”
I nodded.
“Do you think that that’s what Clint wants from a wife?” I asked. “Someone that domestic and capable, like his mother? Spending most of her time here, taking care of the kids and the hands and him?”
“I think Clint wouldn’t say no to that,” Brandon said, slowly, “But he’s not an idiot and he knows you can’t hitch a dressage horse to a plow. If he wanted a plowhorse, he’d buy a damn plowhorse, and if he bought a dressage horse, well, that’d be because he wanted to ride some shows.”
He paused.
“Naomi, you’re borrowing trouble,” he said, plainly. “Clint knows full well that you’re not his mother, and you’re not much like her, and you’ll never be exactly who she was.”
I winced.
“I should just let this go?” I asked.
“You should just let it go,” he confirmed. “I’ve had a few chats with Clint about you, and believe me, he’s not expecting you to be something you aren’t.”
I nodded. “Thanks for letting me know, Brandon,” I said.
He nodded.
“I get it,” he said. “It’s hard to think your partner wants something you can’t give them.”
I opened my mouth, but the look on Brandon’s face warned me not to push that. I shut it again and turned to watch the sheep.
It was a nice day to stare at sheep.
The door to my office was opened abruptly.
I’d spent the past few days doing unnecessary paperwork and feeling like a useless cog in a machine that I wasn’t as confident about as I had been a few months ago. I was in no mood to deal with any more nonsense heaped onto my plate.
Doing Sarah’s job and my own for no extra pay was draining and frustrating, and I got no credit for it.
“Naomi,” Herman barked. “What he hell happened?”
He shut the door and stepped close to my desk, looming over me.
I stood up, resisting the urge to stand on my tip-toes to look him in the eye.