“I can’t leave, you know that,” Brandon was saying. He sounded frustrated. “Clint is counting on me to stick around a while longer.”
“Clint is counting on you for a lot, isn’t he?” Will shot back. “Must be nice, I wish I could say the same.”
Brandon sighed gustily.
“That’s not fair,” he said. I had to strain to hear him over the sheep noises when he wasn’t practically yelling.
“You’re my partner,” Will said. “You’re the man I love, and I wish I could count on you to do what I want, not just what Clint wants.”
I couldn’t see them, but they were quiet for a moment.
“He’s been through a lot, and Naomi seems great,” hearing my name, I ducked down further, hoping they wouldn’t see me, “But I don’t want to count on her sticking around to keep Clint together. You know he wouldn’t do well alone out here.”
"I know that, but Brandon, he's a grown-ass man. It is not your job to make sure he's okay. It's your job to make sure you're okay, and it's your job to make sure I'm okay, and, Brandon, I'm not okay," Will said. I could hear the pain in his voice as an almost tangible thing.
I winced. Will was a great guy, and Brandon was too, and I didn't want either of them to be unhappy.
Brandon's voice came again, immediate and gentle. "I want you to be okay. What can I do? Do you really need to get off this ranch?"
It was hard to make out what Will said in reply, and I didn't try. This was too personal, and I was feeling bad about my decision to eavesdrop.
There was a few minutes of murmured conversation then, one that I could only speculate about. I hoped it was good.
I wished I could disappear. Unfortunately, I didn't see any way of getting out without them seeing.
"Can we go back to the house soon?" Will said, a little more loudly.
"I do need to check these sheep," Brandon said, his voice full of regret. "I told Jack I'd do it for him so he could go out tonight."
I heard a thump.
"I can wait," Will said. “I’ve sat less comfortable places.”
There was a silence for a few minutes, only broken by the soothing sheep noises that I had come to hear, and a few worried bleats from whatever sheep Brandon was checking on.
"What do you need, Will?" Brandon finally asked. "Do you need the city, or do you need a job like you had? Don't a lot of people work online now? Can we stay on the ranch if you find something online?"
"Huh," Will said. He didn't sound so angry any more. "Yeah, I hadn't looked at that. There might be some writing positions I could take from here, at least most of the time. The commute wouldn't be too bad if it weren't every single day. I just need to do something with my brain."
"I know you do," Brandon said. "I want you to. I love your brain. I love you. I want you to be happy, and I hate that you aren't."
"I know, and I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," Will said. "You leaving this ranch would be as unfair as me staying as a hand. It just looks like what we need isn't fitting right now."
I heard a few footsteps.
"C'mere and give me a hug," Brandon said. "I love this ranch, and I love Clint, but I'd give both up for you. If you can't find something to do here, we'll get a different place. Maybe halfway between the city and here? Would that work okay for you?"
I heard Will's laugh, although it sounded a little muffled. Maybe against Brandon's shirt?
"Yes," he said, "We can both have a horrible shitty commute in a place we hate. That's pretty fair."
"Come on, I'm trying here," Brandon grumbled, and Will replied, something low and sweet. There was no anger or frustration in either voice now, and I was glad. I didn't want them to be at odds with each other.
Partially, that was out of friendship and concern. I'd grown to respect and value these men and to hope that they liked me and wanted me in their lives. Brandon and Will were good men, good friends to Clint, and good company.
Of course, partially, it was selfish. My nights laughing on the porch with them and listening to their stories were becoming regular events to treasure, and, more importantly, I knew what they, particularly Brandon, meant to Clint.
Brandon was the brother that Clint had never had, he was the last person on the ranch who could sit around and talk to Clint about his parents. He needed that, he needed that sense of family and connection, and I was afraid of how my taciturn lover would handle another blow.