Arabella grimaced. “You needn’t worry, truly. I won’t let myself fall in love like last time.”
“But you could still be hurt,” Roslyn pointed out. “Think carefully, Arabella. If you continue in this vein, you may have no choice but to wed Lord Danvers. You cannot afford to create a scandal-not unless you are prepared to see our academy’s reputation suffer. If your indiscretions become known, marriage to him will be your only course.”
Disliking to acknowledge that possibility, Arabella swallowed hard. She had deliberately ignored the risk of scandal for the momentary pleasure of being with Marcus.
“Yes, please think, Arabella,” Lily pleaded. “You don’t want to be forced to wed him to save your reputation.”
“Even worse,” Roslyn added softly, “is the prospect of being locked in a union like Mama and Papa were. If the earl doesn’t love you, he could make your life a misery the way Papa did Mama.”
“I know,” Arabella murmured. “My behavior has been reckless. But it won’t happen again.”
“I hope not,” Lily said, true distress in her voice. “If you don’t take care, he will seduce you. Surely you don’t want to wind up like Mama, falling under the spell of a charmer, lusting after a man to the detriment of your entire family?”
The notion struck Arabella like a blow. Was that what she was doing? She stared at her youngest sister in dismay. It appalled her to think that she might be following in her mother’s footsteps.
“Has it come to that, Arabella?” Roslyn said more quietly. “Are you letting your heart overrule your head, like Mama did?”
Arabella shook her head earnestly. “My heart is not involved. I have known Marcus barely a few weeks. That is too short a time to develop any lasting ardor.”
“You may not be able to help yourself,” Lily asserted. “Doubtless he is counting on your feminine weakness, trusting that he can make you fall in love with him. He is playing on your physical desires-and he is clearly succeeding.”
Arabella couldn’t refute the charge; she had warned herself of the same thing countless times. She raised a hand to her temple. “I won’t deny that I feel a physical attraction for him, but it is only passion I feel.”
“Then you had best keep away from him entirely,” Roslyn advised. “Passion is not a sound basis for marriage. Passion can burn out quickly, and then what is left?” Roslyn hesitated, gazing at her sympathetically. “It might be different if there were any chance you could come to love each other.”
Roslyn’s advocacy of love was not surprising. She was not set against marriage as Lily was; she just felt strongly that love must come first if a union was to have any chance of truly prospering.
“There is little chance of that,” Arabella replied. “He doesn’t want a love match. He only wants a marriage of convenience with a proper wife to breed him heirs.”
“Then you should end your courtship now.”
“Yes,” Lily seconded. “You don’t dare risk falling in love with him, Belle. Love can turn you into an utter fool, blinding you to all else.”
Arabella nodded in agreement. Roslyn was the wisest of the three of them and could be counted on to analyze the situation rationally. Lily, on the other hand, was speaking from sheer emotion. Despite her hoydenish ways, she was the most sensitive Loring sister and had been hurt most by their mother’s abandonment.
Yet Arabella shared Lily’s feelings in this instance. Love made a woman much too vulnerable and susceptible to lunacy. She well knew the pain love could cause, both from her own experience and from her mother’s. Victoria Loring had fallen in love and destroyed her family because of it…
“You are right, of course,” Arabella murmured.
Evidently Lily wasn’t convinced of her sincerity. “We can try to help you resist him, but only you can crush your feelings for him before they go too far.”
“I know.” She couldn’t-wouldn’t-permit herself to fall in love with Marcus. She squared her shoulders. “You needn’t worry about me, Lily. Our wager ends on Monday-only two and a half more days.”
“Hang the blasted wager!” Lily declared. “You have to call it off immediately. It is not worth the risk.”
She couldn’t call off the wager now. Not when she was so close. She had her sisters to think of as well as herself. Their independence was also at stake. If she lost the wager, Lily and Roslyn would suffer for it.
Taking a deep breath, she gazed solemnly back at them, filled with new resolve. “No, truly. I promise I will keep away from Marcus from now on. No midnight trysts…no trysts of any kind. I won’t allow myself to be alone with him ever again.”
It was a promise she was determined to keep, Arabella vowed to herself. The reminder of their mother’s behavior had had a chilling effect-and she had absolutely no intention of losing her heart the way her mother had done.
She managed to hold to her promise for the better part of the next day. Knowing Marcus had an afternoon appointment in London on a political matter but not wanting to risk encountering him beforehand, Arabella eschewed breakfast and left Danvers Hall early with her sisters to take refuge at the academy. There, she distracted herself the entire morning by listening to mu
sical performances.
The afternoon passed much more slowly, since it was Saturday. With only a half day of lessons scheduled, the young ladies were allowed the afternoon free to do whatever they pleased. Most chose to go shopping in the village, which left the school unusually quiet.
Despite Arabella’s best intentions and her sisters’ attempts to divert her, Marcus occupied her thoughts far too often. Thus, she accepted readily when Roslyn and Lily suggested they take an early tea with Jane Caruthers, the spinster who ran the school’s daily operations. When Tess Blanchard elected to join them, the pleasant interlude became reminiscent of the early days before they opened the academy, when the five of them had regularly gathered to discuss plans.