Every word that fell from his lips made her pulse accelerate.
“I can promise you more problems to fix on this ship than you’ve had to tackle at the chamber of commerce. All you have to do is name your own salary. I can offer you a lifetime of security and benefits. Free visits for your family, time off to visit them. The opportunity to see the world many times over. But something tells me none of that would be enough for you.”
“Well, thank you.”
A deep chuckle ensued. “I’m not through. What makes you so necessary to me, so powerful in an invisible way, is that feminine part of you which knows how to deal with people. You ooze with compassion. But I recognize that side of you will never feel complete without a husband and children.”
She sank down in the nearest chair. He knew her far too well, and no wonder. During those first couple of days, she’d bared her soul to him in an attempt to pull him from the depths of his misery. She’d told him things she’d never admitted to another soul.
“In my clumsy way, which is a result of my being a bachelor these many years, I’m asking you to marry me.”
Dear God.
“You don’t have to give me your answer right now. In fact I’d prefer you wait until the service for your ex-husband is over and you can concentrate.”
She got up from the chair, unable to sit still. “I think you’ve been using your voice way too much and need to rest it.”
“There’ve been several women in my life,” he persisted as if she hadn’t said anything. “Naturally there have. But I always had this dream driving me. It prevented me from putting down roots because I knew I couldn’t be the kind of husband they needed.
“However these last few days have forced me to realize my life has entered a new phase. Your presence has crystallized my thinking. I find that the thought of going on alone brings me little pleasure.”
She cocked her head. “What about love?”
“We’ve both known it before,” he came back reasonably. “Both of us have experienced first love, the first throes of passion, the excitement and mystery of what goes on between a man and woman. You’ve known what it’s like to be pregnant and carry a baby inside you.”
Terri averted her eyes.
“Are you afraid that if you got pregnant again you would miscarry?”
After a brief hesitation she nodded.
“That would explain why you feel so anxious for Juanita.”
Hot tears trickled from her eyes. “It’s horrible to go through the experience of losing your baby alone.” Her voice shook. “You feel so empty. And then not to be able to hold on to the man who helped to create that little life because he’s not around, and doesn’t want to be—”
She broke off, burying her face in her hands to get control of her emotions. Finally she lifted her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever apologize for your emotions, Terri. They make me feel closer to you than ever. We already know we have this rare mental chemistry that practically allows us to read each other’s minds. Between us there’s respect and humor. And I believe loyalty.
“Those are precious ingredients that could form the basis for a solid marriage. What’s to say that given time we wouldn’t find love with each other?”
He’d left out desire.
It was all very well to talk about everything else, but without that one vital ingredient, there could be no passion. No excitement. No driving force. No babies.
Her desire for him had already reached an explosive level. But if he never felt the same way…
Maybe he couldn’t feel that way. Maybe that lack in his psyche was the reason why he’d been able to stay a bachelor all this time.
She began to suspect that what she and Parker had talked about was true. The accident had made Ben vulnerable. For once in his adult life he’d experienced helplessness. For a short period of time he’d been forced to rely on someone else. That someone had happened to be Terri.
But these were early days. Give him another week to recover and he might be in a very different frame of mind. He probably knew that, which was why he’d told her not to give him an answer until after the memorial service. A shrewd businessman like him knew how to leave his options open.
“You make a compelling case. I’ll think about it.” But that’s all I’ll do, her heart cried.
“There’s more. Parker thinks he has a chance with you. So does Carlos. All that either of them is waiting for is an opportunity to find out.
“If you become my wife, those problems will disappear. Furthermore I’ll have the assurance that you won’t be leaving me in the lurch at a future date to marry someone who could never appreciate you the way I do.”