That’s when I remembered something.
I sat up so fast that Haggard had to jerk out of the way or else take a head to the face.
My eyes were wild when I said, “Dad!”
Haggard’s face went perfectly blank, and I knew.
He didn’t have to say a word.
“He died.”
The words felt like a bomb in the otherwise quiet room.
Ignoring the way my lungs burned and the way my head hurt, I closed my eyes, turned on my side, and tucked into the tightest ball I could manage before I cried.
I cried and cried and cried.
Until, thankfully, I fell asleep.
Two days later
Seeing your father burned alive was torture.
Seeing it, over and over again, because people on social media kept sharing it? Agony.
I stared at the video of my father walking out of a burning building with his entire body engulfed in flames, feeling that swell of sickness in my stomach rise up again.
I was to the part where he fell down and started yelling when the phone was snatched out of my hand.
I didn’t even look at the man that’d snatched it.
Instead, I looked at the empty space where my phone had once been.
“Baby,” Haggard whispered. “Look at me.”
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
If I did, I’d cry.
And God, I was so tired of crying.
“Baby.” I felt his fingers sink into my hair, and then my head was going back as he pulled gently enough that it wouldn’t hurt too bad, but firmly enough to let me know that my head was going backward whether I wanted it to or not.
I chose to let him pull it back.
Tears welled in my eyes as they spilled down the sides of my face.
He growled and then slammed his mouth down on mine.
The kiss was different.
Desperate.
There was a ferocity to the kiss that should’ve scared me.
“I’m all alone,” I whispered. “He left me all alone.”
His hands cupped my face, and then he was kissing me like he was reminding me that he was there, he would never leave, and I’d never be alone.
I let him, because anything had to be better than feeling like your world was ending.
And with Haggard there, I knew that it wasn’t over.
I was here, safe, and would continue to be as long as he was there to save me.
The last two days had been a whirlwind.
A BOLO—be on the lookout—had been put out for Haylin’s arrest in the murder of a police officer and the attempted murder of me.
I’d stayed in the hospital for a day, been released, and then almost immediately started dealing with the insurance company, the bank, lawyers, etc.
Taos and Fran had shown up, along with all of Haggard’s brothers, CrossFitters from the gym, and even my boss from work. Everyone was trying in their way to help me through this.
Clem and Boston hadn’t left my side, and neither had Haggard.
Well, that wasn’t totally true.
He’d left quite a few times to follow up on leads, but he always did it when I was sleeping.
I’d never once woken up without him since it’d happened.
But, for the first time in days, I’d been left alone long enough to find myself on social media.
And what a mistake that had been.
Now I couldn’t get the image of my father being burned alive out of my head…
At least, I didn’t think I could.
But Haggard was really good at making me forget everything but him.
Between one breath and the next, I was naked.
Seconds after that, he was, too, and following me down to the bed.
His bare cock brushed along my damp folds, and before I could wrap my arms around him, he was nudging at my entrance.
“Condom,” I breathed.
We hadn’t once had sex without it.
Even I knew that just that one touch felt better than it should have.
“No,” he growled.
I felt shivers run down my spine.
“But…”
“Gonna give you something to live for,” he rumbled. “You won’t continue to waste away. You’ll live. For me. For the baby I’m about to plant inside of you.”
“You said…”
“I didn’t want more kids.” He notched his cock at my entrance and pushed inside. “But I lied.”
He didn’t lie.
He didn’t want more kids.
But he wanted me to have them because they meant something to me.
“Haggard, no,” I whispered.
I didn’t want this.
I…
He slammed inside so hard that I lost the ability to think.
I could only feel.
I gasped, my breath leaving me in a surprised whoosh, and then I wasn’t only existing anymore.
I was soaring.
With him inside of me, and the way he made me feel, for the first time in days, I was thinking about something other than my misery.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he breathed. “Never had this before.”
I hadn’t either.
Which he knew.
But anything with him was extra special.
“Gonna fill you up so full,” he breathed, his mouth running along my neck, his beard tickling me as he did. “Gonna get you pregnant with my baby. I’m gonna love the fuck out of that kid because he’s half you. Just like I love the fuck out of you.”