Dammit. Will I ever be able to move past this feeling? I need to talk to someone.
Forcing myself to get back into the moment, I asked, “How many bedrooms?”
Ugh. Why did you ask about the bedrooms, Arabella?
“Three, and two bathrooms up here.”
There was a landing at the top of the steps. It had a small love seat, two beanbag chairs, and a TV on the opposite wall. It wasn’t a big space, and it screamed that a guy lived there.
“This is my office,” Hunter said as he opened the door to reveal a large desk, a dog crate, a dog bed, and a giant safe opposite the desk.
“Goodness, what do you keep in that?” I asked.
“Guns.”
I walked in and then glanced over my shoulder at him. “That would make sense.”
He smiled, and my stomach fluttered. Lord, if he wasn’t the most handsome man. Forcing myself to look somewhere other than in his eyes, I started to read all the awards and certificates on the wall.
“Wow, Hunter. This is amazing.” I stopped when I got to a bookshelf that contained books on law, criminal justice, and fishing. There were also pictures placed on the shelves. They were mostly of Hunter, Bishop, Adam, and Kyle. They were either fishing, hunting, or skiing. A few photos were of Bishop, Kyle, and Hunter on a beach. A few more showed the guys in Alaska on a fishing trip.
Another photo was of Kyle, Greer, and Hunter with two women I didn’t know. They all wore swimsuits. I wanted to ask who they were but kept moving. It wasn’t my business, and I had no right to the jealousy I currently felt. So Hunter had a picture of a woman in his office? He had continued to live his life, while I’d chosen to hide away in the safety of my bees.
It was only then I realized how much of my life I’d given up. Wasted. Years lost to someone who didn’t deserve them. I clenched my fists as I continued looking at the photos.
“That’s the trip we took to Virginia Beach. We thought we’d be able to see Aiden, but he was gone on a mission. And those are Kyle and Greer’s cousins. They came up a couple years back, and we met them at the beach.”
Looking back at the photo, I asked, “Is that Jennifer and Heather?”
He laughed. “Yes. They’re not little girls anymore. Both are married now.”
I spun around to look at him. “No way!”
He nodded.
I wasn’t going to lie, I felt relief knowing who they were and that they weren’t some random women Kyle and Hunter had met.
Walking over to Hunter’s desk, my breath caught in my throat. Tears suddenly sprang up and I blinked rapidly to keep them from spilling free. I reached down and picked up the 5x7 frame that held a picture of me and Hunter at Bishop and Abby’s wedding. Their first wedding. My heart raced so fast, I nearly felt dizzy.
Hunter kept a picture of us on his desk. A tear dropped free and hit the frame. I used my finger to wipe it away, then turned to look at him. “You have a picture of us on your desk?”
A shy smile appeared on his face, and he gave a half shrug. “Just like you have that note I gave you still sitting in the honey jar.”
I felt my eyes go wide. “When did you…”
It struck me that Hunter had seen it when he’d been at my place. It was sitting on the small desk in the little nook of the living room.
He chuckled. “I don’t remember how old I was when I wrote that note. High school?”
“Yeah,” I said with a small nod. “Our senior year.”
“That’s right. I meant it, the words I wrote to you.”
I had pulled that note out of the small jar so many times and read it. It was worn and torn in a few spots, but it had kept me from almost losing my mind a few times.
Bella, you will always own my heart. Love, Hunter.
“What if…I mean…” My voice drifted away as I stared at the picture. “Can you still love me, Hunter, if darkness has touched me?”
His brows drew in. “You could never have a dark side to you, Arabella.”
I felt my chin wobble. “I do.”
“Is that why you pushed me away?”
Swallowing hard, I pulled my gaze from his and looked past him into the hallway. He was blocking the doorway, and I suddenly felt trapped.
As if sensing my fear, Jack bumped my leg and whined. Hunter noticed, then looked back at me. He stepped out of the room and motioned down the hall. “Two more rooms left.”
“Right,” I said, quickly walking out of the office. I peeked into one room and smiled. It was the guest room, and either Willa or his other sister Lacy, or maybe his mother, had to have decorated the space. It was the only room in the house with paintings and décor like decorative pillows and a mirror hung up on the wall.