I was pretty sure of it too. I liked the idea that he might still be alive. That somehow, some way, he cheated death.
But now, I’m not so sure. I didn’t know about Adam Boucher or Donovan Couture, or some guy called McKay. It could’ve been them.
And now this Adam guy wants me to help unfuck a PSYOPS? On a dual personality? One of whom is a PSYOPS agent himself?
Fuck that.
My passive participation in this shit is now over.
“Anyway.” Sasha sighs. “I told him I would ask you, but I didn’t want his secret.”
“Yeah,” I say. “That’s a good idea if you ask me. No one wants to get pulled back into that shit, ya know?”
“Trust me.” Sasha chuckles. “Don’t I know it. I’ll call him back and tell him you declined.”
“Wait,” I say, just as she’s about to get up and go over to Jax. “Don’t say anything yet. Give me a week or two to do some digging on this Adam guy.”
Sasha squints her eyes at me. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t know about him until now. And maybe my answer is still no, but maybe I also want to meet this Adam Boucher.”
She sighs again. This time, she sounds tired. “It’s probably a bad idea, Merc. I’m sorry I brought it up. I don’t want you getting lost down those rabbit holes again. It’s a never-ending tunnel and there’s almost no satisfaction at the end.”
I ignore this warning. Heard it all before. Instead, I say, “What did you say the girl’s name was?”
“What girl?”
“The Zero? Adam’s girl?”
“Indie?”
“Full name, Sasha.”
“Indie Anna Accorsi.”
“OK. And you mentioned a daughter?”
“Yeah. Indie had a kid when she was a teenager or something.”
“With Adam?”
“No.” Sasha shakes her head. “With Nathan St. James.”
“And who the fuck is this dude?”
“Company. But he got out real early.”
“He’s a Zero?”
Sasha shrugs. “I don’t know if you could call him that or not. He wasn’t mind-fucked that way. He grew up with some old Company man who stole him out of the hunt.”
“The what?” I ask. “And how the fuck do you know all this shit?”
She smiles at me as she points to her head. “It’s all up here, Merc. Never really goes away, does it?”
I assume she’s referring to her life with her father, the Company arms dealer. She met everyone growing up. But she’s been out of that business for almost twenty years now. “Right,” I say. “But who do you talk to? To get all this up-to-date shit?”
“Well.” She glances over at Jax and Sydney to make sure they’re still immersed in conversation. They are, so she looks back at me. “I have a little spy network in place.”
I laugh. Loud. Loud enough to make Sydney and Jax look over at us. They both smile back, assuming Sash and I are having a good time. I lower my voice and growl, “Since when?”
“Since… oh… right before grad school, I guess. I smuggle girls every now and then.”
“You what?”
She nods. “Company girls. Of course, there aren’t very many of them left. So it’s been a couple years since I had to get one out.”
“Wait.” I put up a hand. “Back the fuck up, Sash. You’re still in?”
“In? No.” She chuckles. “Trust me, we’re all out. One hundred percent out.”
“Who is this we?”
“A few other girls who found me after I went to live with Ford when I was a kid.”
“Sasha. Are you telling me you’ve been in contact with Company girls this whole time?”
“Merc. Don’t be naïve. They’re never gonna stop needing me for something. I figured, if I have to keep talking to these people, I might as well do something good with it.” She smiles. Big. “When these girls found me, I wasn’t really into it. I did it for them, mostly. They were the ones who needed the project and I was the one who had the money to see it through. Funny enough, Jax was on to me when we first met. I came home early from Peru because we had a girl in a safehouse who needed a new identity. But he was there at the Denver International Airport and he took me right into one of the interrogation rooms. Then he followed me for months. And I kinda got sidetracked with everything that happened next and forgot about the girl. That whole operation just continued without me. Must’ve seen the headlines and realized the FBI was all over my ass. So it took those contacts about two years to get back in touch because they weren’t sure I was legit anymore. Jax, ya know?” She wiggles her ring finger to show off her wedding band. “But they needed me. And I needed them, to be honest. So. I help out when I can.”
“I can’t believe you never told me this.”
“I take care of myself, Merc. You should know that by now. I’m glad I have you, and Ford, and Jax, and James. I appreciate it, I do. But I’m not the kind of woman who lets the men take care of things. I have kids now. I have a family. I love my husband and I know he’s capable and smart, but I’m in charge of my life, not him. I’m responsible for my past. And there is no way in hell I’m going to spend the rest of my days pretending it’s all good. Because I’ve seen that dirty underbelly. I know it intimately. I know everything that’s going on in the Company and that’s never going to change as long as I’m alive.”