Positive.
There was no more trying to push off the reality. This was really happening. I was pregnant with Carter’s baby.
I swept all of the tests back into the shopping bag and ran out to my car. Taking the tests was something I needed to do on my own. Dealing with the aftermath of the results certainly wasn’t. I got to Harleigh’s house and pounded on the door until she opened it.
“Lauren? What’s going on?” she asked, looking confused and concerned at the same time.
“Is Brett here?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. He took the girls on a daddy day. They are going to play at the park and then get some ice cream.”
“Good,” I said, pushing past her into the cabin.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, closing the door and following me inside.
I went directly into the living room and dumped the bag of pregnancy tests out onto her coffee table.
“You tell me,” I said, gesturing at the tests.
She looked down at the tests and then at me, her eyes wide. “You’re pregnant?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Unless you think there’s a chance all thirteen tests are wrong.”
Harleigh shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“That’s what I thought.”
I paced back and forth across the living room, feeling like I couldn’t stop moving. I tried to sit down but bounded right back up from the couch and kept pacing.
“I just can’t believe this. I want to say I don’t know how it happened, but of course I know how it happened. I just don’t know how I didn’t pay enough attention that I’m just now figuring it out. I didn’t think I could be one of those girls who is so disconnected she doesn’t even pay attention to her cycle for over a month,” I said.
“I don’t really think there is such a thing as ‘that kind of girl,’” Harleigh said. “You try to pay attention and take care of yourself and everything, but sometimes life gets in the way. Things happen. You lose track. You can’t beat yourself up over that. The important thing is you know now.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I definitely know now. But what does that mean? What am I supposed to do? This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”
She came across the room and took me by my arms to stop me. Guiding me over to the couch, she made me sit down.
“First of all, you need to calm down. Just take a breath and try to relax a little bit. I know that’s a whole lot easier said than done. Trust me, I know exactly what you’re feeling right now,” she said.
I nodded. “I know you do.”
Harleigh’s pregnancy had come as a surprise as well. She and Brett were still early in their relationship and just figuring out where they stood when she realized she was carrying his baby. Babies, as it turned out. I was so glad to know my best friend really did understand what I was going through and would be able to empathize with me.
“Then you also know what I’m going to tell you,” she said. “You need to sit down with Carter and talk to him about it.”
I shook my head adamantly. “I can’t. I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too scared. Do you have any idea how long it took just for me to convince him to tell everybody we’re together?” I asked.
“Well, extrapolating based on how things have been going and these tests, I’m going to go with a couple of months.”
“Right,” I said. “It took him that long just to wrap his head around being in a relationship with me. I have no idea how he’s going to react to finding out we’re going to have a baby together. Things were just starting to get good between us. I’m terrified about what this is going to do.”
“I know,” she said. “I have to admit, telling Brett I was pregnant was one of the scariest conversations I ever had in my life. Maybe the scariest one. I was completely afraid of what he was going to think and how he was going to react. And I wondered if we would even make it as a couple after that. But I had to do it. And so do you.”
It was blunt and unapologetic, but that was exactly what I needed to hear. Harleigh was right. I needed to talk to Carter. He deserved to know.
“I just don’t think I’m ready yet,” I said. “I need a couple of days to think first. Just to figure out what I am feeling and exactly how I’m going to tell him.”
Harleigh nodded. “That’s fine. It’s a lot to take in all at once. But you shouldn’t wait too long. You already know what it’s like for things to get dragged out and the issues that kind of thing can cause.”