That wasn’t anything close to what I wanted. I was just really getting to like having my circle of friends. I didn’t need the pressure of everyone rooting for us, or being interested in what was happening, or trying to influence our timeline.
I didn’t want us to figure out that we weren’t going to be good for each other, break up, and have it all turn into some dramatic custody battle where our friends tried to decide who to see when and whose side they were on.
Just thinking about all that left me feeling exhausted. It was far better to try to navigate the early phase by ourselves and not let anyone else in on it until we were on solid ground together.
At the same time, it felt strange to keep what was becoming such a big part of my life away from the friends who meant so much to me. I was used to telling Harleigh everything, and we had been right by each other’s sides through our bad dates, worse breakups, and broken hearts. I hated the sense that I was lying to her or cutting her out of something.
And how were we supposed to know when it was time to start talking to everybody about it? What was the barometer by which we were going to gauge when our relationship was going to be at the right stage to start bringing other people in?
Then, when that time did come, how did we tell everybody? I’d never had to make any kind of relationship announcement before. Was it something we just slipped into casual conversation and hoped it sank in without issue? Or did we have to plan some sort of announcement that would reveal it to everyone?
I couldn’t help but wonder if our friends would skim over the whole being happy for us thing and instead go to being hurt and offended that we went about it behind their backs.
To put it mildly, the situation was starting to completely take over my thoughts and distract me from everything I should be doing, which was why I listened to my phone ring at least four times before I really processed what I was hearing.
I was sitting at my desk, my hands still wrapped around my now empty coffee cup, staring at nothing in particular when the sound finally broke through and I realized what I was hearing. I grabbed it and was glad I glanced at the screen to see who was calling. It was Ashton.
There was no way I was answering that call. I put the phone down and waited through three more calls, hitting the ignore button each time. Finally, it stopped ringing. Several seconds after the last call, the phone dinged, alerting me to a new voicemail. I drew in a breath, bracing myself for what nonsense I was going to hear when I checked the message.
Part of me was tempted to just delete the message without listening to it. Another part of me thought if I ignored him, Ashton would do something dangerous and stupid.
I picked up my phone and accessed the voicemail.
“Lauren, it’s me. I tried to call you a few times, but you wouldn’t answer. I really want to talk to you. Why won’t you talk to me? I’ve just been trying to have a conversation with you. Don’t you remember when we used to talk for hours? It didn’t even have to be about anything. We would just talk and talk. I remember when we would both need to be at work first thing in the morning and we would say we were going to get to bed early, but somehow, we would end up in one of our conversations. Before we knew it, it was sunrise, and we knew we were going to have to go into work without any sleep.
“Those days were always hard because I was so tired, but I loved them because it meant I had that time with you. I just want that time with you again. And I want to know you are living the best life you can be. And I don’t think you are. I saw you at lunch with your new boyfriend. I know you saw me too. And I saw you again having dinner with him. I don’t know if you knew I was there, but I was watching your every move.
“He isn’t good for you, Lauren. You lied to me about not dating any of those guys. Is that what he’s turning you into? A liar? Or are you just ashamed to be in a relationship with him and didn’t want to admit it to me? I think I could probably understand that. You really need to rethink being with that guy. You deserve so much better than him. I can be that better man for you.