’s part of his diabolical plot to get in your good graces and then bam! His legs are over your shoulders and you won’t even know how you got there.”
“Nah,” I said. “It’s only your legs over my shoulders that I care about.”
Gary sniffed. “That was really sweet.”
Ryan thought so too, but since he was a man, he had to cover it up by scowling at me. Which was okay, because I knew.
The noise of the crowd around us crescendoed until it was nearly earsplitting. But the moment Vadoma raised her hands toward them, palms down, they quieted as if they hadn’t been screaming at all.
Except for Tiggy.
“GWAAAAaaahh…,” he said before looking around at everyone staring at him. “Oh. No more yelling?” He nodded. “No more yelling.”
“People of Mashallaha,” Vadoma said, voice ringing out over the crowd. “Honored guests. Tonight, I bring to you tidings of great joy.”
Her people cheered again.
“More yelling!” Tiggy yelled.
“Why is she speaking in Veranian?” Ryan muttered in my ear. “Most everyone here is a gypsy.”
He had a point. “Maybe it’s for our benefit?”
“Does she seem like the type to do anything for our benefit?” Ryan asked, which, fair point. But he hadn’t seen the flowers that still stood where my mother had been raised. Maybe that was all bullshit designed to sell me on the idea of the gypsy clan, but I thought not.
So I said, “I don’t know,” and it was the truth.
“Many of you have heard that I traveled far from Mashallaha,” she said. “Out of the Luri Desert and into the green lands. The Dark Woods stand as they always have, swallowing the heart of Verania in gnarled roots that dig deep into the earth.”
“Couldn’t she have just said there was a big fat forest in the middle of everything?” Gary muttered.
“This fancier,” Tiggy said, looking enthralled, as if he’d never stood inside the damn Dark Woods a day in his life.
“I entered the City of Lockes,” she said, “and stood before our King. I told him of the power of sight, of what was shown to me as having been written in the stars. I warned the King to take heed of my words. That there are only shadows when darkness begins to cover the light.”
“Ooh,” Gary said. “I get it now. That sounded ominous and scary and wicked cool.”
“You don’t have to give commentary for everything,” I reminded him.
He looked scandalized. “Of course I do. That’s how you know we’re having fun.”
No one paid us any mind. They were all under the spell of my grandmother. She reminded me briefly of a woman who had fed her followers corn mixed with truth serum, and I shuddered at the thought. I hadn’t been able to look at corn since without feeling the need to blurt out secrets. It was a terrible affliction.
“And the King bestowed upon me a great gift,” Vadoma said. “My grandson. The wizard Sam of Wilds, who is here to save Verania.”
Everyone turned slowly to stare at me, even as Gary coughed, “Apprentice,” as loudly as he could.
I gave everyone two thumbs-up like the cool cat that I was. “Heyyy,” I said. “What is up, y’all?”
“So awkward,” Gary whispered to Tiggy.
No one gave me a thumbs-up back. Apparently Mashallaha was completely inhabited by people who didn’t know cool even if it jerked off on their face. Good to know.
“And I’m not a gift,” I added quickly, just because it needed to be said. And because I always had the incessant urge to fill the silence. “Think of me as being on loan. Or not even that, because I’m not a thing. I’m a person. I came here because my grandma bad-touched me in the hallway and made me have visions of stuff.”
“You might want to stop talking now,” Ryan said through gritted teeth.
“Yep,” I said. “Good idea. Back to you, Grandma!”