Thomas said, “Do you know about Plato and the allegory of the cave? No? That’s okay. Just don’t believe the shadows are all that’s real.”
Chris said, “She likes you, Ox. She likes you a lot. Don’t break her or I’ll have to break you. Or if she breaks you, tell me and I’ll kick her ass. You don’t fuck with family.”
Mark said, “Every day, you’re making him just a little bit better. Ox, I am so glad we found you.”
Joe said, “Ox! Hey! You have to come with me right this second. I found these… like… these trees and they’re crazy and I think they could be a fort or something. I don’t even know! You just have to come see them.”
Jessie said, “I think we should have sex.”
I STARED at her. “What?”
“We should have sex.”
I said the first thing that came to mind. “Your brother will murder me.”
She rolled her eyes and brought her feet up onto my bed. She had slender toes. I don’t know why they fascinated me. There were painted red. Some shade of red that I thought was sexy.
“We’re old enough to make our own mistakes,” she said.
“Uh. We’re seventeen. And I don’t know if the best way to seduce me is to call it a mistake.”
She laughed and punched my arm. “Seduce. Oh Jesus.”
“So,” I said.
She arched an eyebrow.
“Maybe?” My palms were sweaty and my throat was dry. “But maybe not.”
“That’s… clear. As always.”
“I’m not… good. At things.”
She said, “That’s not true at all.”
And I was seduced.
AFTER, WE lay in my bed, sweaty and sated. My mouth had done things to her and her mouth had done things to me, but we didn’t have condoms so not much else was done. It didn’t matter because my mind was blissed out and blank. It reminded me of the old TV my dad had kept in the garage. It only showed static. White noise. I was a forgotten, broken television buried under years of memories. I laughed at this, and when she asked me what was so funny, I just said, “Nothing.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
I couldn’t see where she was pointing. “What?”
“That dog thing.” She pushed herself off me.
“Hmm?” I said, channels still trying to come in clear. I needed to wrap tinfoil around my rabbit ears.
“It’s heavy,” she said quietly.
And everything was razor sharp. I sat up quickly and snatched it from her hands.
“Ox,” she said. She sounded confused.
“It’s… I don’t….” I didn’t want her to touch it. I never wanted anyone else to touch it. I just couldn’t find the words (reasons) to say that.
“It looks old,” she said finally.
“Joe gave it to me. For my birthday.”