“He’s worried about you,” Gary said.
“He does that.”
“We all are.”
“I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are, but okay. Keep telling yourself that.”
“Gary. Don’t.”
“Yeah, because that’s ever worked on me before. It’s like you don’t even know me. Tell me don’t and I just make it my mission to do.”
“I don’t need this right now, okay?”
“No,” he said, suddenly sounding as angry as I’d ever heard him. “Not okay, Sam.”
“Gary—”
“It’s not just you.”
I blinked at him.
“It’s not just you that’s hurting,” he repeated fiercely. “We all loved Morgan. We all love Ryan. Maybe not in the same way as you do, but just as much. You have locked yourself away to the point where I can’t tell what you’re thinking. You’ve never been like that before. It’s not fair that you do that to us. Not now. Not after everything.”
“Not fair? Are you out of your godsdamn mind? Do you want to talk about fairness, Gary? Fairness is—”
“Sam, I am a hornless gay unicorn in my late seventies. Do you really think I am going to start taking your bullshit now? Because if you do, honeybunch, you are sorely mistaken. I have not put nearly a decade of work into you to have you start acting like a fucking dickbag. I won’t stand for it. I really will not.”
“But—”
“Shut it.”
“You can’t just—”
“Sam. Shut. It.”
“Oh my gods. I hate you so much right now.”
“Keep telling yourself that, princess.”
“I’m not a fucking princess.”
Gary rolled his eyes. “This is what’s going to happen. In a minute, you are going to hug me and you are going to cry. You are going to let it all out, because that’s what you need. And once that’s all done, you are going to eat the food that Tiggy brings you, and then you are going to go to bed. You will sleep all fucking night, and if I have to sit by your bed to make sure it happens, then I will. And then tomorrow, we are going to get up, we are going to be sad over the friends that we’ve lost, and we are going to have hope for those that are still here. And then, when an appropriate amount of time has passed, we are going to smile again, we are going to laugh again, and we are going to find Myrin and
kick his ass so godsdamn hard that he forever regrets fucking with us. And when all is said and done, we are going to find my fucking horn, because I am sick and tired of having this bony fucking nub on the top of my head, do you understand me?”
I nodded dumbly.
“Good. Now. Let go of your sexy knight for a little bit so we can begin.”
I set Ryan’s hand at his side.
I turned around.
Gary was there, big and warm, and when I hugged him, when I wrapped my arms around his neck, I did exactly what he asked of me.
I cried.