“Did he?”
“Yes.”
“We’re best friends.”
“Are you.”
“5eva. And before you ask, yes, he knows this, because I tell him all the time.”
“Is that right.”
“And as such, I assume he told you how awesome I was and that everything that happened went exactly as I planned and I looked amazing while doing said plans.”
“That… isn’t quite how it came out.”
I sighed. “He gushed and used more superlatives? Gosh, that’s so like him when he talks about me. I’m not a god, King. I’m just a man, no matter what Justin says.”
The King chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for watching out for him.”
“It’s what we do.”
“He’s worried about you.”
I stiffened slightly. “How so?”
“He thinks all of this might be too much for you.”
I tried to pull away from the King, but his arm tightened around me. “No offense, Your Highness, but your son should keep his mouth shut.”
“Unless he’s singing your praises?”
“Precisely. In fact, that’s how it should be for everyone. If you could make that a law, I’d greatly appreciate it. And maybe do something about those We-Hate-Sam-A-Lot posters I saw on the sides of buildings when we came back into the City.”
“Saw those, did you?”
“Yeah. And they wouldn’t have bothered me as much if they hadn’t drawn me as a demon with the bodies of children and puppies littered around me. I mean, I haven’t used children and/or puppies in a spell in at least a month.”
“I have noticed an increase in both children and puppies in the City since your departure.”
“Oh, no worries. I’ll make sure to take care of that now that I’m back.”
“Dissenters often are the loudest because they feel the need to shout,” the King said, squeezing my shoulder. “I hope you know that.”
“Have there been many articles written about me in the paper since I’ve been gone?”
“Oh, yes. Daily.”
“And how many signatures on that petition that demanded my removal as the apprentice to the King’s Wizard?”
“Just under fifty thousand. And I gave it great consideration when it was presented to me before I ultimately vetoed it. Granted, the papers the next day accused you of having bewitched me for your devious plots. There was also the implication that you and I were rather voracious lovers because you had a thing for my mustache.”
“I do have a thing for your mustache,” I said. “I mean, my gods, have you seen it? I demand that you declare it to be a national treasure.”
“I’ll get right on that.”
“See that you do.”
“Have you spelled me to do your bidding?”