“I’m still angry with you. That you would keep this from me.”
I looked down at my lap. “I know.” And I did. This wasn’t… fixed. It would take more than a half-assed conversation where both of us were on the defensive. And I still wasn’t convinced that sending Ryan away wasn’t the best idea. At least that way I wouldn’t have to worry about him being used against me. Unless, of course, Myrin and the Darks found him back at Castle Lockes. Or anywhere else in Verania. Or the world.
“This is the exact same thing you’re so angry with Morgan and Randall about.”
“I know that too.”
“You’re still angry at them.”
I sighed. “Yeah. Shitty deal.”
“So you know why I’m still angry with you.”
“Yeah, but see. You could not be angry with me. That would be super cool too.”
“Not how it works.”
“It could be,” I mumbled.
He took the remaining step forward, knocking my legs apart and stepping in between them, like I’d wanted him to do earlier. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against his stomach. He was warm and familiar, and he brought his hand to cup the back of my neck, fingers in my hair. I was greedy for his touch, wanting nothing more than to forget about all this shit for a little while. But I knew that wasn’t how things worked. Ryan had a right to be angry with me.
He sighed above me. “You don’t take the easy route, do you?”
“Sometimes,” I said. “But other times, I get lost off the trail.”
“I know you were trying to protect me.”
“Yeah.”
“But it comes across as not trusting me.”
“I do. It wasn’t—”
“I just need time to think about all of this.”
That… didn’t sound good. “Uh. Okay? I don’t—”
Ryan stepped away from me. I was cold at the loss of him.
He looked tired, more so than I’d ever seen him. I hated seeing him like this and hated even more the part I had played in it. Hindsight sucked, especially when I thought back to all the times I could have been honest.
“Just don’t take too long,” I said nervously. “I don’t know how much longer we’re going to stay here.”
“Yeah,” he said, a tight smile on his face. “I’m gonna go. Check in on Justin, make sure he’s settled. Maybe you should go see the dragons, find out what you need to do to get them on our side.”
And wow, I did not expect the burning jealousy to roll through me right then, to the point where I felt choked with it. Ryan had just spent weeks with Justin, and now he was running off to him after fighting with me? That was something I hadn’t expected to hear, and it hurt.
“Justin?” I managed to say, unable to look at him. “Why would you—”
“He’s the Prince,” Ryan said. “It’s my job.”
I nodded at that. He was right, of course. It was his job. That was it.
He made a sound like he was going to say something else, but in the end, he didn’t.
I didn’t even flinch at the sound of the door closing behind him.
Chapter 15: Randall of Dragons is an Asshole