“Why are you the way you are?”
“—but I won’t be able to touch your penis.”
“You do have a mouth.”
“Whoa,” I said, impressed. “That escalated quickly.”
He shrugged, tying off the sling. “I do what I can.”
“I bet you do. C’mere, let me show you how thankful I am—”
“As fascinating as this is,” Gary said, “and trust me when I say that hearing your banter again is literally the highlight of my day, can we please get to the secrets thing? Because ever since I decided on a trial reconciliation with my ex-husband, there has been a distinct lack of drama in my life.”
We were in my bedroom in Castle Freesias. Tiggy sat against the door, Gary positioned daintily in his lap. Kevin had insisted on staying with Pat and Leslie, eyeing them curiously, saying he had so many questions on the mechanics of lesbian sex. I reminded him that if he offended the feathered dragons, it ran the risk of ruining my supposed destiny and destroying the world as we knew it. Kevin assured me that he wouldn’t even dream of such a thing, then proceeded to ask Pat if they raised tails and just backed up into each other. Tiggy had to hold me back from launching myself at him. Randall assured me he’d keep an eye on them, but since he was at the top of my shit list, I mostly just glared at him.
Justin was leaning against the wall, arms across his chest, a look of bland indifference on his face. I knew it was contrived and that he was just as excited to be in my presence again as I was to be in his. That’s what best friends 5eva did for each other. As soon as everyone else was distracted, he’d probably want to do our secret handshake just so our bro-bond would be reaffirmed. I could hardly wait.
As I sat on the bed, Ryan stood at my side, fiddling with the sling even though it was fine. I didn’t mind the touch. I didn’t know how pissed off he was going to be after I spilled everything, so this might be the last time he would even want to be near me for a while.
So I did what I did best: I deflected. “How was the trip?” I asked brightly. “Did you guys have the most fun of your lives?” I frowned. “Well, maybe not the most fun, seeing as how I wasn’t there.” I frowned harder. “In fact, I assume the walk to Castle Freeze Your Ass Off was dreary and sad and that you all spent nights around the fire talking about how much you missed me and trading your favorite Sam stories.”
“We maybe mentioned you three times altogether,” Gary said. “Now, don’t make me get up from my comfortable position to kick your ass. You will spill your secrets, Sam of Wilds, and then we will have a long and involved conversation about how you think it’s okay to ever keep anything from me. There is a chance I’m going to get my glitter on while it’s occurring, just so you know. I would tell you not to be scared, but you should be.” He narrowed his eyes, nostrils flaring. “You should be.”
“Eep,” I squeaked.
“Oh please,” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “Do you really think Sam of all people has any secrets worth merit? I mean, come on. Look at him.”
Everyone looked at me. I waved awkwardly at them.
“Good point,” Gary said. “But still.”
“So,” I said. “How about them dragons, huh? Did you ever see anything so—”
“Deflecting,” Tiggy said.
“Traitor! The taste of your betrayal is bittersweet indeed!”
Ryan moved until he was in front of me, blocking the others from my sight. He reached down and put a couple of fingers on my chin, tilting my head up until I looked at him. “So much beard,” I breathed. “I want to feel it on my—”
“We’ll get to it soon,” he said, and I really liked the sound of that. “You look tired, though.”
I shrugged, averting my eyes.
“Sam,” he chided gently.
“It’s not—look. I just haven’t been sleeping too well lately. That happens when you hear dragon voices in your head.”
He gripped my chin, and I sighed, knowing I wasn’t going to talk my way out of this one. I had this coming to me. I had raged against Morgan and Randall for keeping secrets from me. And here I was, having done the same thing to my friends. I couldn’t even argue that I’d done what I’d thought was right, given how I’d scoffed at Randall and Morgan. Finding out you’re a hypocrite sucks balls.
“Have they calmed now?” he asked me as I looked back at him. His expression was open, worried yet fond. “You have them here.”
I shrugged. “Mostly. We haven’t… bonded, or whatever it is I’ve done with the other two. There hasn’t been time, as I’m sure you saw, what with the whole sliding down the side of a mountain on a sand sailboard while they chased after me.”
Ryan’s jaw tightened. “Thank the gods you had that contraption with you. I’d hate to think what would have happened if Ruv hadn’t had the foresight to sneak it into your pack.”
“Right? It’s like he knew something like this was going to happen. I’ll have to find some way to thank him—and wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you grind your teeth that hard before.”
“You can send him a short letter,” Ryan said, jaw tense. “That should suffice. Only needs to be one or two lines at most. Maybe even just a postcard. You know what? I don’t think you need to send anything at all. He probably didn’t even mean to do it. In fact, he probably was trying to sabotage our mission somehow.”