“You’re not,” Morgan said slowly. “And we’ve always believed that. You’ve proven that time and time again, in a good way. But there is a ceiling to magic, Sam. And while we’ve never known just how high your ceiling is, we’re worried that you may try and reach it before you’re ready. Or maybe you’ll find out you don’t have a ceiling at all.”
“I have it under control,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that was the truth. The idea of not having a barrier, of having an unlimited reach of magic, scared the shit out of me. But I didn’t have time to worry about that now.
“Do you?” Randall asked. “Because from what I understand, you were unconscious following the storm you unleashed. And then again with… with Myrin.”
It was one of the few times I’d ever heard him say Myrin’s name, and that alone should have clued me in on the gravity of the situation. The problem was that I felt like a cornered animal, like they were pushing me back and towering over me. And when an animal is cornered, it does the only thing it can: it lashes out.
“I did what I had to,” I said. “Which is something neither of you would ever understand.”
And as soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back, given the way Morgan flinched, eyes tightening, mouth turning down.
Randall was as stoic as always. He gave nothing away. “You’re too emotional.”
“Because I’m human,” I snapped at him. “I can’t just shut it off. And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. How else am I supposed to be? Your mistakes aren’t mine, Randall. I’m sorry. I really am. I know it sucks. Everything. The dragons, the prophecy… Myrin. But I’m not you. And no offense, but I don’t ever want to be you. You both have told me time and time again that I need to forge my own path, and yet you seem to want to direct me whatever way you want me to go. Maybe it’s not intentional. Maybe you think you’re doing what you’re doing because you know more than me. But it still feels like manipulation.”
“Do you know who else lets their emotions rule them?” Randall asked. “The Darks, Sam.”
And that—fuck him. “Go to hell,” I said hoarsely.
“Randall—” Morgan started but subsided when Randall shook hi
s head.
“Sam,” he said. “Everything I’ve done, everything I will do, is an attempt at your best interest. I believe in Morgan and in his strength as your mentor. I believe in the bond you’ve created with your cornerstone. I believe in the power that you wield. You are wild and unrestrained but inherently good. But you are also foolhardy, stubborn, and one day, if you continue on the path you’re on, I believe you’ll unleash magic that you will not be able to come back from. I don’t see you as a Dark, Sam. But I think that with everything that has happened to you in such a short amount of time, you are in danger—now more than ever—of losing your way. I am not trying to dictate your life. I am trying to protect it.”
I laughed bitterly. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
“Be that as it may, the weight of the world has come to rest on your shoulders. And I fear that it’s heavier than you realized. Maybe than even I realized.” He reached a hand up and stroked it down his beard. “You are young yet. The fact that you have the level of magic you do is remarkable. The bond you have with your cornerstone is extraordinary. The fact that you have done everything you’ve done is nothing short of miraculous. But even the strongest of us will crumble under the weight, Sam.”
“Stone crumbles,” I whispered.
“What was that?” Morgan asked.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. So you don’t think I can hack it. That’s cool. Any other secrets I don’t know?”
“I suppose we could ask the same about you,” Randall said. “Anything you’d like to tell us?”
And I knew what he was doing. Trying to catch me off guard, trying to trip me up so I’d tell him—
(I have awoken, O human child. In this forest deep, in the dark of the wild. And I have seen what is in your heart. Take heed of my warning: you are not ready.)
(Ryan, resting upon a stone slab, skin pale and eyes closed, sword clasped against his chest.)
(Make me mortal. When all is said and done. I will protect my King, this one and the next. I will protect my kingdom. I will do all that you ask, but I want a mortal life for my happy ending. This is my wish.)
(A warning. All of you will not survive until the end. There will be loss, Sam. And it will burn like nothing has ever burned before. You must remember to keep in the light, even when the dark begins to curl around your feet.)
(There was a flutter of wings against my palm, the barest of touches.)
—something, anything to give credence to what he was saying.
Instead I said, “A wizard has his secrets. You’ve both taught me that.”
I didn’t think I’d ever seen Randall look more disappointed. He quickly schooled his face back to a blank mask, but the damage was done. I’d already seen it. And I felt awful.
But not enough to attempt to take the words back.
“Do you trust me?” Morgan asked.