“You don’t get to have Tiggy throw me over his—”
“You did the same to me,” he said, sheathing his sword. “Back on the road before the corn cult. Remember? Those Dark wizards coming after us.”
“And the fire geckos,” Gary whispered.
“And the fire geckos,” Ryan agreed, arching an eyebrow. “You made Tiggy carry me away while you stayed behind and tried to play hero.”
“Well, yeah. But then, if you’ll remember, I did that whole lightning thing, and it was amazing. And what do you mean tried to play hero? Motherfucker, I was the hero.”
He rolled his eyes. “You made your choice then. I made my choice here. It’s what we do, Sam. We keep each other safe.”
Since I didn’t want him to know how much that warmed my heart, given that he was totally cheating by appealing to my sappy side, I scowled at him. “Lightning,” I insisted.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough lightning lately?” he asked, eyes trailing to my chest. I knew what he was trying to say, and my scowl deepened. Those scars weren’t my fault. I didn’t even know why they’d happened the way they did. It wasn’t like I’d ever done that before. And it was fucking Myrin. I didn’t have a choice.
So I opened my mouth to retort as one would in my position, but was cut off when a voice spoke from behind us.
“Oh look. They’re standing around, covered in I-don’t-know-what, arguing about something that probably has no relevance to our current situation. So, essentially as they always are. How wonderful that the fate of Verania is in the hands of… this.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I accidentally turned something into a penis. Then I turned around.
Standing in the doorway of the Tilted Cross were Morgan of Shadows and Randall. Morgan looked slightly amused. Randall, of course, did not.
“Randall,” I said. “How nice to see you today. Did you get a new hairstyle for your eyebrows? They look a little… bigger than usual.”
Morgan sighed.
“You think you’re smart, boy?” Randall asked me. “Because I do believe that I’m not above bringing you down a peg or two should the situation call for it.”
“Why, Randall. You old scoundrel. You’re shameless in the way you flirt. Buy me dinner first before you start calling me boy. But you should know that I don’t put out on the first—”
“Sam,” Morgan said.
“He started it.”
“And yet you continued it,” Morgan said lightly. “Standing there, looking like you all do.”
“I feel sticky,” I admitted.
“We look like the aftermath of a foodie gangbang,” Gary said morosely. “Except no one actually touched me in such a way to make me orgasm.”
“I can—”
“No, Kevin.”
“I was just—”
“Kevin.”
“Fine,” Kevin said. “I didn’t want to, anyway.”
“What happened here?” Ryan asked Morgan and Randall. “Why did these people attack us? Where are the Darks?”
Morgan and Randall exchanged a look, communicating something I couldn’t quite parse. When they turned back to us, I knew I wasn’t going to like the answer they gave.
“The… fruiting,” Morgan said, lips twitching, “was an unfortunately misguided attempt at protest by the group known as the We-Hate-Sam-A-Lots. As for the rest, well. Maybe you should come inside.”
Chapter 3: Reconciliation and Best Friends 5Eva