“Fuck you,” I snarled at him over my shoulder. “You really think I’m just going to… what? Let you go? Let you do this? And you think I’m the stupid one? Oh, buddy, have I got news for you.”
“You don’t need me,” he said, struggling to pull away. I held on tight. “You don’t. You live. You can live. He doesn’t want you. Or Alphas. Or pack. He wants me.”
“What then?” The blue house came into view. “What the fuck is going to happen then? You let him suck the life out of you? Let him kill you? What if it’s not enough? What if he tears away all that you are and leaves you nothing but a fucking wolf again? He won’t stop, Gavin. You know he won’t.”
“He will. I can do it.” He said, “I hear him. He’s getting louder. He’s my father. He—”
“He is nothing to you.” The fear in me pushed through the rage, rearing its ugly head. I could barely breathe as it clawed at my chest, the panic fierce and bright. “He never has been. Why can’t you see that? You don’t get to do this. I won’t let you.”
“Why?” he shouted, and the force of it startled me. My grip on his arm loosened, and he pulled away before pushing me. I crashed into the side of the blue house, the siding cracking. “I never asked for this. Any of this. I never asked for you.”
I laughed bitterly. “Then why did you stay?”
He flinched. “What?”
I took a step toward him. He didn’t move. “You came here. You stayed. You didn’t have to. You knew who you were. You knew what would happen if we found out. And still you stayed. Why?”
“Questions,” he growled. “Always questions. You never stop, even when you should.”
I ignored him. I couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when everything was crumbling around us. “And then you leave because you’re a self-sacrificing asshole. I chased after you, and oh, did you put up a good fight. No, Carter, no. I don’t want to go with you. I don’t want to be with you. Go away, Carter. Go away. Stupid Carter.” I curled my hands into fists to keep from lashing out. “And you still came back. You still made yourself part of this pack. You made yourself a home. If it’s so easy for you to leave again, then why the fuck did you even come back here at all?”
He slumped, the fight draining out of him. His voice was hoarse when he said, “You’re the only place I’ve ever felt safe. You, Carter. You make me feel safe.” He tapped his fist against his chest. “Thump. Thump. Thump.”
I kissed him.
He exhaled explosively as his lips pressed back against
his teeth. His mouth was warm and wet, and I felt the scratch of stubble against my hands as I cupped his face. He made a wounded noise, and then I was being shoved back against the house again. Only this time, he was pressed up against me, the long line of his body hot against my own. My brain was misfiring at the thought that we were both naked, but then it fell away when he bit my bottom lip, tugging on it gently.
I groaned into his mouth as he gripped my biceps, claws digging into my skin.
“Stupid Carter,” he muttered against me. “It’s you. It’s you. Always you.”
I tilted my head back against the house as he latched his teeth on to my throat, inhaling deeply. Any question I’d had on whether I was into this went right out the window. I was into this. I was definitely into this.
He was still talking, still saying my name like a prayer, and I said, “Shut up, shut up, get in the house, we’re not going to do this here,” and he said, “You shut up, always talking, you never stop.” I laughed wildly. I felt crazed, the edges of the world a haze. It was like I was slipping again, but this time I didn’t want it to stop.
He stepped back, chest heaving. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me through the back door of the blue house. I didn’t know what I was doing, didn’t know how to do any of this, but I was beyond caring. I stumbled into the house, my head bumping against his back. Randomly, I said, “I’m not ready for page seventy-six.”
“You make no sense,” he said. “Stop talking.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to—”
And he said, “I do,” and my blood ran hot. I did my best not to stare at his ass as he pulled me up the stairs, but I failed miserably.
He took me to a room at the end of the hall, a spare bedroom we’d used for Omegas. He closed the door behind us, and in the distance, the sounds of sirens began to wail in Green Creek, signaling the townspeople to action.
“We don’t have time,” I told him, and he said, “I know. I know. I know.”
He shoved me down onto the bed. I bounced once before he pressed me into the mattress as he settled on top of me. He was heavy, and I could barely breathe, but I’d never felt more awake. I wasn’t dreaming. This was real. All of this was real.
He kissed me again, grinding his hips against mine. His cock was thick and heavy against my own, our skin already slick with sweat. His tongue rolled in my mouth artlessly, but I didn’t care. He felt feral, the thrum of the wolf trembling between us. I opened my eyes to find all I could see was violet.
His hands tugged my hair, pulling my head back. He found my throat again, nipping at my skin. “That’s good,” I gasped. “Keep doing that.”
He growled, and I couldn’t keep from laughing. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he captured my wrists with one hand, holding them tight, pressing them into the mattress above my head. His eyes glittered as he rose up above me. He looked down at me, head cocked. “This,” he said. “This is what you want.”
And I said, “Yes. You. You’re what I want.”