He sobered. “I wish it wasn’t always that way.”
I looked down at my hands. “Me too. But if we don’t fight, who will?”
“Do you remember when I was in the basement? After that full moon when Livingstone was still in my head. Kelly was with me, and all of you were still standing on the other side of the silver. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust me, but it felt like it.”
“Not one of our better moments,” I muttered.
“Maybe,” he said. “But I get it now. The why of it. Gavin crossed the line. He came over to me and laid his head on my lap.”
I’d forgotten about that. I’d been itching to cross it myself, if only to get as close to Kelly as possible just in case Robbie wasn’t… Robbie. But Gavin had taken it upon himself to show us without words how ridiculous we were being. Even as a wolf, he was extraordinarily expressive, and the look of disdain he’d given us, had given me, was like a cold splash of water.
“I’m jealous,” Robbie said, “but then I remember that moment and realize I have no reason to be. Even then, he wasn’t trying to take any of you away from me. He was showing us how pack is supposed to be.”
I felt weirdly proud. “He’s all right, I guess.”
Robbie snorted. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”
“Do what?”
“Act like that. We know how you feel about him. We know because we know you. Always sniping at him, but when you don’t think anyone is watching, you get this… look on your face. It’s soft. And kind. You have this shield. You think you’re supposed to be a certain way. It comes with being the oldest. But it doesn’t always have to be like that.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
He reached over and put a hand on top of mine. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. Just… can I give you a piece of advice?”
I turned my hand over and wrapped my fingers around his wrist, his pulse strong against my thumb. “Sure.”
Robbie said, “Trust him. And yourself. It’ll all work out in the end. And when it does, when you see him for what he truly is, it’s going to be the greatest feeling in the world. Kelly, he… he makes me better. He makes me whole. I love him because of all that he is and all that he isn’t. And like Gordo, you deserve this. I think we all do. And one day, when blood no longer needs to be spilled and we can just breathe, we’ll see why we’ve had to fight for so long. We’ll be together.”
I let his hand go. I stood from the booth. “Up,” I said, wiggling my fingers at him. “Come on, up.”
He got up.
I hugged him.
He grunted in surprise, but his arms were strong around me. I put my chin on the top of his head, and I felt him laughing against my throat.
“Thanks, Carter.”
I heard the click of a camera shutter and looked over to see Dominique lowering her phone. She grinned at us, shaking her head. “Boys,” she said. “Silly, lovely boys.”
WHEN WE FOUND THEM IN THE GARAGE, Gavin and Gordo were studying an engine block held up by chains.
Gordo was saying, “—and that’s how Grandad said it. Said you have to love it. Said you have to be kind. It’ll piss you off, but if you give it patience, it’ll reward you. It just takes time.”
Gavin nodded. He had a bit of oil on the tip of his nose. “Patience,” he said. Then, “Gordo?”
“Yeah?”
“Grandad. He my grandad too?”
“Yeah. I suppose he was. Good man. Taught me all I know about cars. He died, when I was little. Before you were even born.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve got some pictures back at the house. Maybe you could come over sometime and I can show them to you.”
“I’ve been to your house.”