“Forgiveness,” Gavin whispered.
“Or something close to it,” Gordo said. “This pack, it’s… it’s heavy. It pulls at you, even when you don’t want it to. But I need them just as much as they need me. I lost sight of that in the fire. Maybe it wasn’t forgiveness as much as it was acceptance. There are charred remains where the fire used to be. I think it’ll always stay that way. But even in those remains, new things can grow.”
“Mark?”
“Mark,” Gordo agreed, and he smiled softly. I remembered the hard man who’d taken three teenagers under his wing to chase after a monster. The man who’d growled and snapped at us and yet still followed us into the dark. This same man who’d shaved our heads so we could look like him, so we could be as badass as he was. That man was still here, but his sharp edges had been softened, the full extent of his heart on display. He was a roughneck, a mean bastard who could lay waste with nothing but his voice, but he loved us fiercely. “He was a big part of it. But it was the others too.” He jostled Robbie gently. “Even when they didn’t know who I was.”
Robbie pushed his glasses back up on his nose. “You cried when you found me. Remember? Big ol’ manly tears. I thought it was weird that an old stranger was crying on a bridge in the middle of nowhere.”
Gordo rolled his eyes. “And I regret everything about it.”
Dominique appeared, carrying four plates, two in her hands and two stacked against her forearms. She set Robbie’s rabbit food in front of him. Gordo had a chicken-fried steak covered in gravy, already cut into bite-sized pieces. He grumbled that he didn’t need her to do that for him, and she snapped back that until he got himself fitted with a prosthetic, she was going to keep on keeping on.
She put a burger and fries in front of me. I was touched that she’d remembered.
And Gavin’s eyes were wide when she set a breakfast plate in front of him, stacked high with bacon.
“Coffee’s coming,” she said, squeezing Gordo’s shoulder before whirling around.
I watched her walk away. “She and Jessie are….”
“Getting there,” Gordo muttered. “Taking it slow.”
“She’s pack.”
“She is,” Gordo said. Then, “You weren’t here, Carter. She needed it. It wasn’t—”
“It’s fine,” I said quickly. “Bambi too. The more the merrier, right?”
Gordo stared at me for a long moment before nodding. “Right. Strength in numbers.” I opened my mouth to speak again, but he cut me off. “And no, I don’t want to talk about Chris and Tanner. I have no idea what the hell they’re doing, and it’s none of my business.”
“Straight people are weird,” Robbie said through a mouthful of lettuce.
“Seriously,” I said.
“So weird,” Gavin agreed, and we all stared at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” I said as he let go of my hand. I figured he was going to plant himself face-first into his food, or at least start grabbing handfuls and shoving it into his mouth. He was glaring at the bacon as if it had offended him. I felt him watching me out of the corners of his eyes as I picked up a knife to cut my burger.
We all froze when he reached for a fork. He grabbed it like he was holding a weapon, his fist tight around the handle. He brought it to his nose and sniffed. He grimaced, pulling it away from his face and scowling. He turned his hand side to side like he was studying it. Then, awkwardly, he turned his fist down, his elbow jutting out and almost hitting me in the face. He stabbed a piece of bacon, but it fell off. He tried again. This time he got it. He craned his neck out, extending his tongue as he brought the fork to his face. He caught the bacon between his teeth and then sucked the entire thing into his mouth like it was a noodle. “What?” he asked us through a mouthful. “Carter said to use forks. They smell bad. Other people put them in their mouths, but I still do it.” And as if he needed to prove it, he stabbed another piece of bacon while chewing obnoxiously. He held it up. “See? See, Carter?”
“Oh my god,” I mumbled toward the ceiling. “You’re such an asshole.”
IT WAS WHEN WE WERE FINISHING that Gordo said, “I need to get back to the shop. I’ve got a few more things to catch up on before I can head home. Full moon’s this weekend, and we’re already going to miss a couple more days.”
And Gavin said, “Can I see?”
Gordo stopped halfway out of the booth, hand flat against the table. “See what?”
“Shop. Garage.”
“You’ve already seen it,” Gordo said slowly. “Remember? Many times.”
“Yeah,” Gavin said. “Right. Sorry.” He frowned down at the table.
Gordo stared at the top of his head for a moment. “But I guess you haven’t seen it since you’ve been on two legs, right?”
Gavin shook his head.