Gavin didn’t speak.
“You don’t have to trust us,” Gordo said. “Not yet, at least. But if you thought Thomas could help you then, you need to think about what we can do for you now. I don’t know you. But if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking it’s easier to do this on your own. It’s not. Believe me when I say that. I tried for the longest time, and I ended up wasting years. Thomas was to blame for a big part of that. He wasn’t perfect. He fucked up more than you know. But he loved us. He did what he thought was right. We’ve all had to a pay a price because of our fathers.” He pulled his sleeve back, revealing the scar tissue where the raven had once been. “Some of us more than others. Look at me.”
Gavin did.
“You see this?” Gordo held out his arm, his stump smooth. The lines and symbols carved into his skin were familiar, the roses blooming. He traced the scar tissue with his finger. “This is the price I paid. This is how our father was able to do what he did. A failsafe. I was only a kid when he had Abel Bennett hold me down. To take a needle and mark me. But it wasn’t just about the tattoos or the magic or me becoming a witch like him. He was planning, even then. In case something ever happened to him. It was dangerous, more than even he knew. He used me to bring him back to life. And it went too far. The bite from the Alpha mixed with Livingstone magic and it twisted him into what he is now. You may think you have something with him. You may think he cares about you. And maybe he does, in his own way, like he did with Robbie. But in the end, he’s using you. Just like he used me.” Gordo dropped his arm, covering up the scar. “I promised myself I would never allow it to happen again, to me or anyone else. So I had Aileen and Patrice burn it off. It hurt like hell, but I would do it again if I had to. Because that’s what you do for the people you care about. You give it all, and when it doesn’t seem like enough, you give even more.”
Gavin watched him for a long time before nodding slowly. “Mark.”
Gordo blinked. “What about him?”
“He was there. When the raven burned.”
“Yeah. He was. Even though I told him he didn’t have to be. He doesn’t… he doesn’t listen.”
“Like Carter.”
Kelly squeezed my hand again, but he didn’t have to. I knew what Gavin was implying. It was the
first time he’d done so, even if it was in a roundabout way. Gordo and Mark. He thought we were like them.
Gordo snorted. “Yeah. Stubborn assholes. But that’s the thing about the Bennetts. They get their claws in you and they’ll never let you go. They rip your skin, blood spilling out, but still they hold on. I tried to fight it. I don’t want to anymore. When we bleed now, we bleed together.”
Joe let Gavin go as he took a step forward. Gavin went to Gordo and stood in front of him. It was like looking at a fractured mirror. Gavin reached up, fingers shaking. He poked Gordo in the cheek, trailing his fingers along his nose between his eyes. Gordo didn’t move.
Gavin said, “I see me. In you.”
Gordo sighed. “I wish you didn’t. It’d make things easier.”
“Livingstone.”
Gordo shook his head. “Not anymore. Haven’t been for a long time. It’s just a name. It doesn’t define me. I know who I am. I’m a Bennett. And you can be too.”
It was profound, coming from him, this man who for so long had hated everything about who we were. And I never blamed him for that, not once I knew the truth.
Gavin said, “Bennett?”
Gordo nodded.
Gavin backed away from him.
I held my breath.
He looked at all of us, his gaze lingering on me. I didn’t turn away.
He said, “He’ll come. For me. For you. I hear him. In my head. He’s Alpha.”
“Your Alpha?” Gordo asked.
Gavin grimaced. “I… no. And yes. He needs me. I am his pack. He stays because I stay. He lives because I live. Takes from me. Makes him whole. Don’t remember much, but it hurts. Like knives in my paws.”
Jesus Christ. “That’s what he was doing to you. In the cave in the woods.”
He nodded miserably. “Monster. Beast. Like me.”
I couldn’t keep my anger down. “You’re not him. You’re nothing like him.”
“You don’t know. What I’ve done to survive.” There was something sour emanating from him. It took me a moment to realize it was shame. “Hurt people. Didn’t mean to. But I did. Monster. Same as him.”