“Ah, Bear after he just wakes up. I almost forgot how fun it is.”
“Shut up, Otter,” I say as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and plant my feet on the floor. Before I can move any further, Otter is standing in front of me, hunkering down and sitting on the heels of his feet.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, yourself,” I mumble back.
He reaches out and touches my arm gently, and for a moment, I let his hand rest there. For a moment, I almost forget who I really am and can only focus on how good his touch feels. I pull my arm away and look over his head and hear him sigh.
“Bear,” he says.
“What, Otter?”
He stands up and takes a step back. “It’s almost time to pick up the Kid from school. I told him you would be there when he got off.”
I stand up quickly, fishing my keys out of my pocket, relieved at the excuse I now have. I start automatically for the door and only stop when he says my name again. I don’t want to turn around, not really, but I do, and he’s standing in the same spot he’d been in.
“I promised Ty I’d try making him a tofu lasagna tonight,” he says. “I don’t know how good it’ll be, but I said he could hang out here tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
I nod my head jerkily. “That’s fine. I can drop him off.”
He grins knowingly. “Nice try, Papa Bear. You’re not getting off the hook that easily. You’ve got to help me make it.”
“Otter, I don’t know.”
“I know you don’t,” he says softly. “Bear, I don’t know what happened between you and Anna, but I don’t think that you should be by yourself right now. You’re eventually going to want to talk about it. I think it’s better for you to be here.”
With you, I think as I start to fidget and play with my keys. “I’ll think about it, Otter. Okay?”
“Bear,” he says in that voice of his, that warning voice that drives me fucking crazy.
“Please, Otter,” I whisper. “Just… just take it slow with me, okay? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing right now, and I just need you… to just… I don’t know.”
He walks over and stands in front of me and, even though I hate myself for doing it, I flinch and take a step back. I’m almost out the door when he grabs both my shoulders, and I can’t help but look up at him and what I see, the regard in his eyes, almost knocks me on my back. No one ever looks at anyone like this. It’s never supposed to be like this. It can’t be real.
“Bear,” he says evenly. “You have to believe that I don’t know what’s going on here, either. I’m just trying to be your friend.” He smiles sadly at me. “Can you trust me to do that?”
It’s strange. It’s strange because I can. I nod, my eyes wide.
“Okay, then,” he says and turns around and goes to his desk and starts fiddling with a camera that is splayed out in pieces across the table.
I’m about to leave, but that buzzing picks up again, starting in my toes and working its way up through until I can feel it in my ears. Suddenly I’m behind him, and I circle my arms around his waist and lay my head on his back. He starts, but only for a moment. He slowly, carefully, leans back into me and brings his hands up and pats mine gently. I take a deep breath, and he smells like Otter, a smell that hasn’t changed since the first time I met him.
I pull away and walk out of the room, my mind ablaze.
6.
Where Bear Hears a Story
and Makes a Decision
“HIYA, Bear!” Ty shouts as I pull up in front of the school. He says good-bye to some of his friends and tramples his way through the crowd. I grin as he almost knocks a girl down that he seems to go out of his way to walk near. I think of how Creed had kicked Suzy March in the stomach. I wonder if this little girl was at his party.
“Hey, Kid. What’s the word?” I ask.
He grins at me. “I’m glad it’s the weekend. I’ve had the longest week ever.” I burst out laughing because he sounds like a forty-five-year-old businessman.
“You’re telling me,” I agree. “I’m glad it’s the weekend too.” He waves at some of his friends still standing at the front of the school. The little girl turns and waves brightly at him, and he scowls and turns to face the front.