“I have no idea,” Corey says. He sounds more or less like himself again.
“Your friends are weirdly fascinating.”
“They think the same about you, so it’s all good.”
That’s comforting. I think. “And why the hell did you bring up Dominic? I told you that was over and done!” I punch him in the shoulder.
“It needs to be said,” he retorts, slapping my hand away, “that just because you want to act stupid doesn’t mean the rest of us do.”
I knock him over, and we roll off the couch and onto the floor. He tries to tickle my sides (which honestly I hate because I tend to bray like a hyena in heat), so I retaliate by grabbing both of his hands and squeezing my knees against his hips. As he looms above me, it dawns on me how very sexual this position is, me on my back with my legs wrapped around his waist. He smiles down at me, and I think to myself that he just might be the only person in the world who has ever looked at me this way, filled with love and adoration and maybe something a little bit more. He says he broke up with me because we were never meant to be, but I don’t know if that’s exactly true. I see the way he looks at me sometimes. We’re best friends, sure. But I didn’t want it to end. It never burned with the adolescent fire I had for Dominic, but it was sweet. It was kind. And above all, it felt safe.
He’s watching me now, a curious smile on his face, and I wonder what he thinks when he looks at me like this. Does he think of the past as much as I do? Not everyone is mired in the way things used to be like I am, but I think he and I are almost the same.
There’s a knock at the door.
“I need to get that,” I say.
> “Just a minute,” he says, staring at me hard.
The knock comes again.
“Corey, come on.”
“Hold on.” He wriggles above me, and it goes straight to my dick. So unfair.
The door opens and Corey says, “You’ll thank me for this later,” before he bends his head down and kisses me deeply. There’s a brief flash in my head, and I think to myself that this could work. This could work if I really wanted it to. I only needed to push everything else from my head, and we could be happy together. We could have a life together. I don’t care if he’s bigender, transgender, gay, or any other type of person as long as he’s my person and I don’t need Dominic, I never needed Dominic, and I don’t need him that way, not Dominic. Dominic. Dominic.
“Oh,” Dominic says, his voice strangely flat. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I can come back.”
Corey pulls away slowly, flitting his tongue out against my lips as our connection breaks. The smile on his face is filled with nothing but mischief, and I almost reach up and slap him for being so goddamn fucking stupid. I know what he’s trying to do, but it doesn’t matter. I am going to murder him later when there aren’t any witnesses.
“Don’t mind us,” he says, sitting up and straddling my waist. “We were just having a frank exchange of ideas.”
“Is that what you call it?” Dom asks, his expression giving away nothing. And for the life of me, I can’t quell the overwhelming feeling of guilt that rushes over me, though I have no idea what the hell I should be feeling guilty about. Well, aside from the fact that I’m pinned under my ex-boyfriend who just used my mouth for exploratory research while my first love (I swear I’m not a teenage girl) stares down at me like he doesn’t even know who I am. I don’t know how I find myself in these situations. They just seem to happen to me.
“Yes,” Corey says to Dom, rubbing his hands over my chest. “And trust me when I say that the ideas I’m having are certainly meant to be exchanged.” He gyrates his hips slowly, and I can’t even begin to express my horror at this blatant slut sitting atop me. That fucking skank!
“Good for you,” Dom says, sounding bored. “Tyson, you ready to go? Or should I come back later after you two finish?”
I buck my hips up (thinking how egregiously pornographic that probably looks to anyone who might be watching), and Corey falls off to the side, cursing as his elbow strikes the floor. I jump up to my feet and brush myself off, as if there might be errant hairs or semen on my front.
“I’m ready,” I mutter.
Dominic nods, whirls his keys on his finger, then turns and walks out the door.
I spin on Corey. “Your death,” I hiss at him, “is not going to be quick and easy. You will feel pain as I slowly squeeze the life from you.”
He clucks his tongue. “Not a very good vegetarian,” he says.
“I’m not going to eat you!”
“You won’t?” he says with an exaggerated pout. “That’s no fun.”
“Corey!”
“What?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you!”