“I can’t find my happy place,” Paul hissed at Vince.
“Do you want me to touch your wiener?” Vince whispered back.
“No!” Paul said, sounding scandalized. Then, “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”
“I haven’t seen you here before,” I told Caleb, tightening my grip on Brian when he tried to escape.
“Maybe you just weren’t looking for me,” Caleb said.
“Ooh,” I said, baring my teeth. “Feisty. I like this one, Dare. No wonder you’re being you.”
“Helena,” Darren said. “It’s not—”
“So I haven’t noticed you,” I said. “That’s on me. But I see you now. You can trust me on that one.”
“Okay?” Caleb said, sounding annoyed. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“You really aren’t,” I said. “Oh. Sorry. I mean it really isn’t. My bad. You know what they say about the slip of the tongue. Brian? You remember the slip of the tongue?”
Brian flushed almost as if on cue.
“As interesting as this is,” Caleb said, “Darren and I were—”
“—not doing anything,” Darren said quickly, starting to look slightly panicked.
Caleb frowned. “We were talking.”
“And that’s it,” Darren said.
“Talking,” I said. “You look awfully cozy for talking.”
“Kind of like you and Brian?” Darren asked.
I squeezed Brian closer. “Brian and I are just friends. Who had sex that one time.”
“Actually, we had sex three times that night,” Brian said. Then he grimaced. “Also, I wish I hadn’t just said that out loud.”
“Three times,” I cackled, because I was a sex goddess.
“Brian,” Darren growled. “Maybe you should take a step back.”
“He’s okay right where he is,” I said, never looking away from Darren. “Aren’t you, Brian.”
“I… don’t. Know?”
“Nana’s telenovelas,” Vince breathed.
“I still can’t believe you watch those with her,” Paul said.
“Don’t be jealous because she loves me more,” Vince said.
“Well, good for you, I guess,” Caleb said. “Darren, do you want to go get a drink? Or, we could just get out of here if you wanted. Either way, I’m good.” He smiled up at Darren, a simpering thing that said he wouldn’t mind if Darren came on his face, the little skank.
“¡Ay dios mio!” Vince said.
Biff, bless his muscular heart, said, “That’s Darren’s boyfriend.” He looked over at me, eyes widening slightly. “Is it okay that I called you a boy when you’re Helena? I don’t want to offend you or anything. I think you’re pretty.”
I wanted to keep him in my pocket forever. “Darling, that was just fine. I think you’re pretty as well.”