I felt gluttonous taking inventory of the men in my life, yet I couldn’t ignore the fullness they gave me. Their protection, their devotion settled deep inside me, taking up space in the lonely places of my heart, making me feel a lot less lonely.
And a lot more needy. My fingers meandered over my hip, stretched toward the heat between my legs. I imagined they were Michio’s fingers rubbing the bud of nerves there. In thirty seconds, the ache would be soothed.
Bannnng. Bang. The door shook. I bolted upright.
Michio’s bulky silhouette appeared at the gate. “Evie?”
“Shit.” I clenched my thighs and dropped my forehead to my knees.
The gate snicked and the mattress dipped. “What are you thinking about?”
Not going there. I stared at the wall beside his head.
His nostrils flared, and his eyes captured mine. “You’re aroused.”
The heat in my cheeks extinguished any chance of escaping with my dignity. “I’m not.”
“Turn it off.”
I shifted my hips, unintentionally rubbing against his. “You give really shitty advice.”
He reached for me and hesitated. A sigh floated between us. “Bet that mouth gets you in a lot trouble.”
My face burned hotter. “Bet you’d like to find out.”
The brush of his thumb on my jaw belied the professional detachment in his voice. “Your testosterone levels aggravate your aggression. And your arousal.”
The pulse between my legs agreed.
He lowered his voice. “I can numb it.”
I pretended to misunderstand. “I don’t want to be sedated. Thought we were past that.”
The clement breeze fanned his sandalwood scent around me. My breaths quickened, and I knew he noticed.
A hunk of black hair fell over his bowed head. “Let me ease you, Nannakola.”
I flinched, even as my heart stretched in my chest, reaching for him. “How would that work? Arousal’s the problem. You’re making it worse.”
“If you can’t shut it off, you need an outlet. Direct it to me.”
I’d learned that morning I could isolate my transmissions to a specific aphid. Since I didn’t know how to turn off the pheromones, it meant I could funnel the waves to him and deflect the aphids from feeling it.
I strangled my enthusiastic heart with the knowledge that his offer was a medical diagnosis, not some romantic attempt to make out with me. “What’s behind door number two?”
He reached in his pocket, bent across my lap, and set a syringe on the side table.
Ugh. That would work if the wall-imparted lump on my forehead was anything to go by.
A growl rumbled through the door followed by the cracking of wood.
I chewed my thumb nail. Shirtless, his well-cut shoulders blocked out everything in the room. It’d been so much easier to ignore my attraction to him when he was my enemy. “What did you have in mind?”
“Come here.” He patted his knees.
When I leaned toward him, he curved a hand around the small of my back and guided me into his lap. His other hand traced my collarbone, bared above the wide neckline of my chemise. He followed the contour of my neck and tipped up my chin. I forgot to breathe.
His thumb padded my bottom lip. “Breathe, Evie.”
My lungs emptied in a whoosh and his mouth fastened to mine. Our lips moved together in silent exploration, a tongue touch. Tenderness without expectation. I liked it. Too much.
He flexed everywhere I put my hands. Skin stretched over the cords of his shoulders. The wide column of his neck contracted as his tongue chased mine, seductively, expertly. Every taste he gave and took fed the blaze within me. Our breaths became one. My body sang.
But beneath the feel of his lips and the tingle of his fingertips on my jaw, I sensed constraint. The edges of his mouth hardened. His hips made a slight roll. Still, he kept it soft and steady, holding himself away from me. Just like Roark.
A twinge stabbed my heart. I broke the kiss and tucked my fingers in my elbows.
Silence waited beyond the door. He wore his usual stone mask. “It worked.”
I touched my lips. His eyes followed my fingers, his voice passive. “You’re thinking about the priest.”
A swallow bounced my throat. “He’s celibate. We don’t have that kind of relationship.” The twinge in my heart sharpened.
He remained quiet, the moonlit sky graying his flawless complexion. I fell into the hypnotic trance of his eyes as they watched me with too much knowing.
My libido was calm, but his beauty prompted me. “Stay.”
His body hardened. Then, with each breath, the woodenness rolled away.
He leaned in. “What do you need?”
I lifted a shoulder and let my eyes fall to his naked torso. “Skin.”
He stretched out on his side in the space I gave him, looped an arm over me and tugged my chest to his.
My nose settled in the hollow of his throat. He smelled so clean, I wondered if I pressed closer I could absorb some of his humanity. Could I inhale it from his lips to mine? “I never thanked you.”