She unpacked mechanically, telling herself not to think of the sad events of the past twenty-four hours. Every time she thought of Liam wincing in pain as they sat together in that gas station parking lot, something clenched tight in her chest. By the time she’d unpacked, coldness had settled into her bones. She went to her kitchen and filled the tea kettle. As she stared blankly out the window over her sink, it all seemed to crash into her like an emotional tidal wave.
She lowered her head and sobbed.
It hurt like hell, knowing full well what she’d done. Others had been able to quiet their curiosity about the crash. Mari had never seen fit to hire an investigator. Eric had never obsessed the way Natalie did.
Why couldn’t she have just let it rest? Now it was done, and she had to live with the knowledge that her obsession had wounded the man she care for—loved—more than anything in the world.
She hadn’t just hurt Liam with her actions, either. She’d started events that would lead to all the Kavanaugh children questioning their parents, their pasts, the very foundations of their lives. They would think her malicious in her interference.
She’d gained what she thought she’d wanted, and in doing so, she’d sacrificed the real treasure. Liam.
After she’d cried herself dry, she felt hollowed out…empty. The knowledge of what she had to do left her numb.
A knock sounded after ten o’clock that evening. Outwardly, she was composed as she answered the door. Inwardly, it was as if an icy hand clutched her heart.
“How did it go?” Natalie asked a minute later, once Liam had settled tiredly in an easy chair in her living room, and she’d brought him a cup of coffee, at his request.
He exhaled heavily and took a large sip of the hot drink. “Well…my mom didn’t deny any of it. We’ve been talking nonstop the entire time. Once she understood that I knew the truth about DuBois, she sort of just…broke.”
“Is she all right?” Natalie asked, concerned.
Liam nodded. “Yeah. I’m not saying it was easy on her, but I think she’s okay. I called Colleen, and she and the kids came to stay with her tonight. I had no idea…”
“What?” Natalie whispered.
“I had no idea how guilty she always felt. Mom feels it was all her fault—the crash, the deaths, Deidre’s fury at her.” He gave her an entreating look. “It was always there, eating away at her. That’s why she was so defensive, why she was so…hard. I didn’t mention this to her, but I think it could be why she wasn’t taking her medications last year, why she was letting her health go. I think part of her didn’t care anymore….”
“It’s so strange,” Natalie said quietly as she sat down on the couch. “To think mistakes we made years ago could come back and affect us so greatly.”
Liam rubbed his whiskered jaw tiredly. “To think they could affect family, but also complete strangers. It’s a hel
l of a thing.”
Natalie nodded. “So what now?”
“I have to go to Germany. I have to talk to Deidre. According to my mother, Deidre did overhear the confrontation between my father and mother. I was right about that. The awful thing about it is, she overheard my father accusing my mom of Deidre being another man’s child, and my mother admitting it could be true. My father told Mom about the blood types—he assured her it was true. Deidre couldn’t be his. But Deidre never heard the identity of her biological father. My mom said she got upset and hurried away when she heard that she—you know—wasn’t my dad’s. Deidre demanded to know who her biological father was later, but my mother refused to tell her. She begged Deidre just to accept that Derry was the only person who had ever been her father.”
Liam paused and dug his fingertips into his closed eyelids. He looked so exhausted—both physically and emotionally. Natalie longed to touch him, but she remained motionless. She felt as if she’d lost the right to comfort him.
“Deidre told Mom she was right. ‘Derry will always be my father—it’s you who aren’t my mother anymore.’ I told you how close my dad and Deidre were. Deidre must have felt like Mom robbed her of that. I suppose the feeling amplified a hundredfold after the crash.”
Natalie couldn’t think of how to respond to so much hurt and misery.
“My mom admitted that she told Dad on the day of the crash that she’d had a brief affair with Lincoln DuBois. That’s why my dad must have been so destroyed when he saw DuBois on the news. He was already upset, but seeing DuBois’ face must have twisted the knife. Apparently, Mom told Dad she hadn’t suspected Deidre was Linc’s child over the years, but she told me tonight she had her suspicions all along. Deidre not only had a different blood type from Marc, Colleen and I, she also had a very rare type. Mom had gotten hints from the medical staff when she gave birth that the blood typing for the baby didn’t match Mom’s and Dad’s blood types. Mom managed to keep that quiet over the years, until Deidre’s accident.”
He opened his eyes and their stares met.
“I have to go to tell Deidre who her biological father is. She would want to know.”
“Lincoln would want to know.”
Liam nodded grimly. “You saw how sick he was. There may not be enough time. I’ll have to leave tonight. Besides… I’m due to start work next week. If I’m going to go, I have to do it now.”
Natalie nodded. “I’ll get you some more coffee.”
“I don’t want anymore coffee. I want to hold you. Come here.”
She swallowed thickly and remained on the couch. His brow furrowed.