As far as Ryan went there could be little doubt he was swayed by the fact that they were going to have a child. She understood at this point, both from Mari and fro
m Ryan himself, just how crucial family was to him. Their physical attraction for each other combined with his euphoria over becoming a father was confusing him into thinking he should spend the rest of his life with her.
“Are you okay?”
Faith blinked at the sound of his voice.
“Yes. Of course.”
His dark eyes toured her face quickly before he spoke. “I’ll probably stop by the hardware store on the way home for some supplies. Do you want me to pick up some paint and carpet samples for you?”
“That’d be terrific,” she said gratefully.
He nodded once and turned to leave.
“Ryan.”
“Yeah?” he asked calmly, looking over his shoulder.
She hesitated. She wanted to apologize for her outburst in the car, but she wasn’t entirely certain she’d been wrong in what she’d said. Bewilderment swelled in her chest. She grabbed desperately for a certainty.
“I...I wanted to let you know that I have an appointment at the obstetrician’s this Thursday. I don’t think very much exciting is going to happen, but...well, you can come. If you have time. And...want to,” she added lamely.
“Thursday at what time?”
“Two o’clock?”
“I’ll make sure Scott is available on Thursday then,” he said.
Faith stood there, watching helplessly as he walked away.
* * *
Ryan was gone for most of the day on Monday. When he finally did return home that night, he carried some wood and supplies with him. He greeted her pleasantly enough, explaining that the lumberyard would deliver the majority of the supplies for the bookcase later in the week. What he carried was just enough to get things started in a small way. He immediately disappeared into the basement, leaving Faith to stew in her confusion.
The next morning when she woke up in her room, Faith knew he was gone by the flat, empty feel to the house. She dragged herself out of bed with a heavy heart. Her work helped to ground her for the next two days. On Tuesday night, however, she succumbed to a wave of gloom, recalling the golden glory of the wedding in the tranquil, color-soaked orchard, the look in Ryan’s eyes when he’d repeated his vows, the full, incendiary moment when he’d uttered those words...
You’re mine, Faith. Can’t you feel it?
Then she remembered all too clearly what she’d said in the car in a fit of fear.
Because it wasn’t a real wedding.
A pain went through her at the memory, causing her to clutch at her chest. She walked out onto the back terrace and took deep breaths of the mild spring air, staring at the thousands of stars in the sky, and feeling her loneliness like an ache deep in her spirit.
The next afternoon at closing time, she was talking to Jane about a lab order and glanced up to see Brigit Kavanaugh walking into her office.
“Brigit! How wonderful to see you,” Faith exclaimed. She came around the reception desk into the waiting area and greeted her friend with a hug.
“I haven’t had a chance to offer my congratulations on your wedding,” Brigit said, smiling. She handed Faith a flat, thin package wrapped in silver paper. “This is for you.”
“Oh, thank you! You shouldn’t have, Brigit.”
“It’s not much. Derry and I had one from an aunt of mine, and I always treasured it.”
Faith gave her a warm smile. “Come back to my office and we’ll chat.”
“Go ahead and open it,” Brigit encouraged a moment later after they’d both sat in chairs in her sunny office. “Ryan won’t mind. He’s a man, and this is something that goes in the china cabinet. I’m quite sure Derry never had a clue what was in ours.”