He came up for air, making a hissing sound.
“I know you think we shouldn’t give in to this, Faith, but for the life of me, how can I forget what you felt like that night?” he whispered roughly next to her lips. “You were so small...” He plucked at her upturned lips. “So sweet. I can’t sleep at night, remembering how good it felt,” he muttered as he reined feverish kisses on her lips, her cheek, her ear. His hands moved at her waist, stroking her back, lowering to cup her hips possessively. He brought her closer, shifting his pelvis, rubbing their flesh together, stoking the fire.
Faith found herself sinking into heat.
“Please let me make love to you again,” he said hoarsely, covering her ear with his mouth. The suction that came from his kiss caused prickles of excitement to reverberate down her spine. “I’ve thought about it since Christmas. How could something that feels this good be wrong?” His hand rose over her ribs, finding a breast. He covered her, nestling her flesh in his palm. She whimpered as he began to knead her gently. Her nipple grew hard against him. He gave a low growl of male approval. His body tensed and hardened next to hers.
She gasped in pleasure.
“You think so, too,” he rasped.
“Yes,” she whispered, her mouth seeking out his. “Yes,” she breathed next to his lips before she pushed his head down to hers. They fastened together in another ravenous kiss. Sensual pleasure suffused every pore in her being. She said nothing when she felt him lift her off her feet. He strode out of the kitchen and through the living room, his stare scorching her. The bedroom was shadowed and dim, the only source of light the one in the distant kitchen and a glowing bedside clock.
He laid her on the bed and came down over her, immediately fusing their mouths again. His body covered hers, with plenty to spare. He felt so hard, so wonderful. Her mind went blank. Only pleasure existed...and Ryan.
His hands moved over her, conferring delight and heat wherever he touched. Faith was far from passive, however, touching him back just as heatedly, relishing the opportunity to feel what she’d barely allowed herself to look at earlier. His hands found their way to the belt of her robe, loosening it, and then moved to her thighs. He raised the fabric of her nightshirt to her waist, pausing to caress and enliven her tingling nerves with every stroke.
“So soft,” he rasped, breaking their kiss. He lowered his head. She made a choking sound at the sensation of his mouth pressing between her rib cage. His lips nibbled at her tenderly, making her shiver. He tasted her, his tongue leaving damp spots on her pebbling skin. He pushed up her nightshirt. She gasped at the sensation of his mouth on her breast, moaning as he drew on her. Pleasure tore through her body. Her breasts had never felt so sensitive. He continued to use his mouth and tongue on one nipple, and used his fingertips to gently manipulate the other.
“Ryan,” she said helplessly.
“I’ve never tasted anything as good you,” he muttered thickly. He rose over her, his erection between her thighs. Faith’s eyes sprang wide at the sensation. She twisted her head on the pillow. Her cheek brushed against the soft fabric of the pillowcase...
...the same pillowcase she’d just put on last evening. In Ryan’s bedroom. The room where he was going to live while they shared a marriage of convenience for the benefit of their child.
She cried out in distress, moving her chin when Ryan bent again to ravish her mouth. He paused, his lips just inches from her averted jaw. She clamped her eyes shut when she felt a whole new type of tension enter his sleek muscles.
“We can’t,” she said shakily. “This isn’t how this was supposed to go, Ryan.”
“I thought things were going pretty damn great,” he said grimly.
“Ryan...”
He cursed under his breath and rolled off her. She came up on her elbows, staring at his shadowed figure anxiously.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have agreed to this. This whole moving in together...the marriage idea. It was a mistake.”
He lowered his arm. “No. You weren’t at fault,” he said, his voice hard. She heard him inhale slowly. When he resumed speaking, he sounded calmer. “It was my fault. I’m to blame. I agreed to respect your boundaries under this arrangement. I didn’t.”
“I was hardly complaining,” she said miserably, moving to the side of the bed. He caught her hand and she paused.
“It won’t happen again. Not unless you change your mind.”
Her mouth fell open. Guilt surged through her. He was making it sound like he’d taken advantage of her, when goodness knows she’d been every bit as eager for him as he was her.
Not unless you change your mind.
She reluctantly pulled her hand from his and stood at the side of the bed.
The problem was, Faith couldn’t trust herself. She couldn’t tell Ryan that what she wanted was him.
What she didn’t want was all the heartache she might receive if she opened herself up to him too far.
* * *
All was quiet in his bedroom when she crept out of the house on Friday morning. When she returned home that night, a heavy pregnancy-exhaustion weighting her muscles, she found a note in the kitchen from Ryan. It said he’d taken a flight to San Francisco, and that he’d just spend the night in his still-unsold condo before returning on Saturday.
Check the fridge, she read the last line few lines of his note. A peace offering. I’m sorry about last night. I’m not sure how it is I’m always screwing things up when all I really want is to get it right with you.