Her pulse began to thrum at her throat. “Why did you only come to visit me today?”
He stared straight ahead at the road, but she sensed the tension that leapt into his muscles. “You told me last Christmas you didn’t think we should see each other again.”
“Well, I know,” she said awkwardly. “But you came anyway. I was just wondering—why today?”
His jaw tightened. He didn’t immediately answer her, but focused on pulling into her office parking lot. Faith waited while he whipped the car concisely into a spot and put it into Park.
“I came because I’d hoped you’d had enough time to reconsider what you’d said that night,” he said quietly. “Everything about what you told me today aside,” he said, his gaze flickering down to her belly. “I was never convinced, like you seemed to be, that because of our...lapse, we should never see each other again. I came on that Christmas Eve to offer support to the widow of a good friend. Because it became more than that doesn’t make it wrong.”
Faith swallowed with difficulty, highly affected by the resonant timbre of his deep voice. An uneasy feeling settled in her belly. She shouldn’t automatically assume that Ryan was like Jesse, but the only proof that she had was Jesse’s joking, admiring references to the fact that Ryan could have just about any woman he wanted. He was in his mid t
o late thirties, and hadn’t seemed to settle down into a monogamous relationship. After their all-too-brief encounter, she’d begun to wonder if he didn’t consider sex in a similar vein to Jesse. Jesse and Ryan were both handsome, dashing pilots—the type of men that made female hearts flutter across the globe.
That was what had been behind her insistence that what had happened between them was a mistake.
That, and his references to their impulsive lovemaking ruining the potential friendship he wanted with her.
She hadn’t changed her mind in the past three months. It seemed a lot more difficult to bolster her logic, however, sitting just feet away from Ryan and inhaling his spicy male scent. The last thing Faith needed was to get involved with another faithless man—not that Ryan was interested. Besides, she had the baby to think about now.
“Faith, what are you thinking?” Ryan asked. She realized he must have seen the turmoil on her face.
“I still think it was a mistake what happened between us. Just because a baby is going to come of it doesn’t mean we should continue going down that wrong road. I know that when you showed up at my house on Christmas Eve, you weren’t thinking about being strapped down with a woman and a baby.”
“I’m not thinking of it as being strapped down,” he said forcefully. “And just because I wasn’t planning what happened doesn’t automatically make it a mistake.”
“I told you that I’m thrilled about the baby,” she said sincerely. “It’s a blessing to me. I’ve always wanted children. But the baby doesn’t make it right for us to...reconnect, does it?”
He touched her jaw, the gesture in combination with his determined stare setting her off balance. His fingers felt warm and slightly calloused against her skin. She blinked in disorientation when he stroked the line of her jaw with his forefinger. “I think what’s right is for us to spend more time together.”
“Because of the baby?” she asked weakly.
His stare bored straight down into the core of her.
“No. Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since Christmas.”
Chapter Two
Faith’s pulse began to throb at her throat. She wanted to look away, but was ensnared by Ryan’s eyes.
“Let me take you out to dinner tonight. We need to talk more,” he said.
A battle waged in her breast. Part of her—the part that was getting breathless at the sensation of his skin touching her own—wanted very much to agree. Another part was wary, though. Her attraction for him could get her into a lot of trouble, and that was a potential heartache she’d already had enough of to last for three lifetimes.
Her practical side whispered to her that he only couldn’t stop thinking about her since Christmas Eve because he felt guilty.
And yet she couldn’t just ignore him. No matter how confused her feelings, Ryan was the father of her baby. Besides, she thought, breaking contact with his hand, there was a topic she really needed to broach with him.
“All right. As a matter of fact, there’s something I want us to be on the same page about. It’s about Jesse,” she said.
He went still next to her, like a warrior suddenly sensing danger. “Okay,” he replied slowly. “I suppose it’s an inevitable topic, between us. Might as well face it head-on.”
She gave him a puzzled glance.
“I just mean that Jesse’s the common denominator between us.” He hesitated. Faith had the impression he was choosing his words very carefully. “He must be on your mind a lot. That’s understandable, especially now that...” He glanced briefly at her stomach and then out the front window. His jaw tightened.
Her heart went out to him. She knew from some of the things he’d said on Christmas Eve that he’d considered his actions to be the worst sort of treachery toward a friend. It didn’t matter to him that Jesse had been dead for almost a year when they’d gotten together. Anger splintered through her at the thought. Jesse didn’t deserve Ryan’s show of loyalty. Not when Jesse himself had been so faithless.
“The baby has nothing to do with Jesse, Ryan,” she said coolly, reaching for the door handle. “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”