Christian nodded.
“Do you think that’s why she believed those lies about you?” Megan wondered in a hushed voice.
He sighed. “That had a lot to do with it.” He palmed the back of her head in a warm caress. “Megan, I’ll always remember Cecilia. But I don’t miss her. She belonged to a different part of my life.” He felt the tension lesson in her neck muscles. “I don’t want to disrespect Cecilia, by speaking of her with you like this in bed, but…”
Megan eyes widened in alarm at his words. She rose up on her elbow. “Christian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to—”
Christian shook his head. “No, you misunderstand me. I can see how you would wonder about it. I want to tell you this. Just let me say it, this once,” he insisted when she opened her mouth to protest again. “I didn’t feel the same way for Cecilia that I do about you.”
“You didn’t?”
Christian shook his head. He had an unsettled expression on his face, as if he were puzzling something out for himself for the first time.
“Cecilia was running a very successful business even when I first met her. She was a clothing designer. She was beautiful, stylish, smart…incredibly confident. I think it was her confidence that drew me to her so much, initially.”
Megan listened with a sinking heart. No wonder he said that he felt differently about Cecilia and herself. They were obviously very different women.
“But …even though she seemed strong, even bold, on the outside, I know now that she wasn’t. Not really.”
He hesitated.
“Don’t say anymore, Christian. It’s none of my business.”
He touched her arm gently. “It’s okay. I was just going to say that Cecilia seemed strong on the outside, but on the inside, she was as fragile as glass.” He must have noticed when her lips parted to speak; he must have guessed what she would say. “I’m not just talking about her being fragile because she was sick, Megan.”
She stilled when she heard the quiet conviction of his words.
He leaned in closer to her. “I was just thinking…it’s funny. Cecilia was so confident and brash, and yet, her real self was brittle and fragile. And you…”
Megan stopped breathing when she saw the vague confusion on his handsome face clear.
“You seem so delicate and unsure. But on the inside…your courage and your strength are a little frightening, they’re so vast.”
“That’s not true,” she protested, embarrassed but warmed by his praise.
“You’re entitled to your opinion, of course,” he said with a knowing grin that told her what he thought of that opinion. He pressed his mouth against her neck. “Did I answer your question adequately?” he wondered in between nibbling kisses.
“Um, what question?”
“The one about whether or not I was still in love with Cecilia.”
“Oh. Yes, you answered it,” she replied breathlessly. He trailed kisses down her arm and began to lick the inside of her elbow.
“Did I ever tell you that I have a real lech for your arms?”
“No, not that I recall,” she murmured in amusement. She sighed in pleasure as he continued to kiss her.
“I do. Your skin is so beautiful, and your arms are slim, but the muscle is…succulent.” He showed her what he meant by gently biting her biceps.
“Did I ever tell you that I fell so crazily in love with you the first time that I saw you that I’m still surprised I didn’t fall right on my ass?” he continued in such a lazy manner Megan thought sure she’d misunderstood him. She froze.
He glanced up to meet her gaze pointedly.
“I just thought you might want to know,” he said as he slid up to kiss her on the mouth. “So that you wouldn’t go around making up comparisons in your mind, when really, there aren’t any that are remotely close to you, honey.”
Epilogue
The shrug Christian gave his sister was meant to communicate that the decision was completely out of his hands.