Lifelong Affair - Page 25

His arm went about Morgan's shoulders. 'I'll take her.'

'No!' she wrenched away from him. 'I—No,' she moved away from him, looking at him as if she had never seen him before.

'I'll take her,' Janet offered smoothly. 'You have your guests to take care of, Alex, you can't both desert them.'

Alex seemed undecided, looking from his sister to Morgan with a puzzled frown.

'Graham and Sheila are just leaving,' Janet urged him to stay.

He glanced round. 'I'll have to go to them.' He looked down at Morgan. 'Will you be all right for a while? I'll come up to you as soon as everyone has gone.'

'I—I'll be fine.' She just had to get out of here before she made a fool of herself and asked him straight out if what Janet had told her was the truth. 'I'll just go and lie down.' She turned and almost ran out of the room, not giving Alex a second look in her need to escape.

It wasn't until she reached the bedroom she shared with Alex that she realised Janet had followed her. 'I'd rather be alone,' she halted the other woman at the door, her expression determined.

Janet raised dark brows. 'Don't you want to know the rest of it, of Alex's affair with Glenna?'

'I don't believe you '

'Then why did you flinch away from Alex a few seconds ago?' the other woman taunted, and pushed the door open with ease, following Morgan into the room as she backed dazedly to the bed, sitting down abruptly. 'I told you there'd been another man, Morgan,' she continued in that mocking voice. 'Didn't you ever think of Alex? He was so convenient, and Glenna was so beautiful.'

'No . . .' Morgan groaned, closing her eyes as if to block out this nightmare.

'Yes!' Janet hissed.

'Why do you think Alex was so determined to keep Courtney in England? Why do you

think he married you?' she added scornfully. 'You're beautiful enough, I grant you that. You even have a surface resemblance to Glenna. Why, in the dark I don't suppose '

'Stop it! Stop it!' Morgan stood up fiercely, her hands clenched at her sides. 'I don't want to hear anymore.'

'Well, that's too bad, because I intend telling you all of it. You see, Glenna was very unhappy here, and Alex was always kind to her. It was inevitable that Glenna would turn to him when Mark looked like becoming bored with her.'

'It's a lie!' Her eyes sparkled like emeralds. 'Alex would never do such a thing where his own brother was involved!'

Janet's mouth twisted contemptuously. 'Where sex is involved a man has no scruples, not even Alex.'

Morgan turned away. She would not believe this! Janet hated her for some reason, wanted to hurt her. And yet Alex was the only one who had spoken kindly about Glenna, the only one who had really seemed to like her,

'Think about it, Morgan,' the other woman encouraged softly. 'Just think about it.'

She didn't want to think at all, but she could do nothing else after Janet had left. She knew it must be a lie, and yet the nagging doubt persisted. Alex had refused to let Courtney leave England, and while his reason that Courtney shouldn't become a tug-of-love child still seemed a valid enough one for them to marry, the fact that Courtney was his son was an even stronger one.

And the thought of him imagining she was Glenna when they made love made her feel sick! They rarely talked when they made love, just enjoyed each other's bodies, and she suspected even that now. Maybe if they spoke he would realise she wasn't Glenna and not want her any more. Oh, it was all so insane, and yet it could be the truthl

They had agreed on total honesty in their marriage, and so far Morgan had given Alex that, but this—this she couldn't talk to him about. Because she feared the answer! It would destroy her and the marriage to know she was merely a substitute for her sister.

She was lying on the bed white-faced and dry-eyed when Alex came into the bedroom an hour later, and she looked up at him with searching eyes as he sat down beside her on the bed. She had come to love this man so much during the three months of their marriage, couldn't imagine a life without him, he had become so much a part of her in that short time. And yet he still gave away none of his own feelings, not even at their most intimate moments, and those inner feelings were what she needed at this moment to tell her that she was Morgan, his wife, and not a substitute for Glenna, his lover.

'They've all gone,' he told her softly, smoothing back her hair. 'Docs your head hurt?' he frowned.

'Head hurt?' Amazingly she could still talk, and quite normally too! She had felt sure she would never be able to talk to him normally again.

His mouth quirked. 'You're lying here in the dark.'

'Oh.' She hadn't even realised it was dark!

'Everyone left early because of the snow.' He leant over and switched on the dimmed bedside lamp. 'It's coming down quite heavily now. And, of course, the party fell quite flat without its beautiful hostess.'

She turned her head away. 'I'm sorry.'

'Hey, I'm only teasing,' he said, gently turning her face towards him. 'Although everyone was concerned,' he frowned once again. 'Including me.'

'I—It's just a sick headache. The excitement of Christmas and now the christening, I expect.'

His brows drew together. 'Is that all it is? Janet hasn't been putting her little daggers in again, has she?'

'Janet?' Her voice was lightly brittle.

'You suddenly stopped feeling well when she was talking to you,' Alex drawled.

'Sick headaches are like that,' she told him. 'They come on suddenly.'

'Hm,' he didn't sound convinced. T>o you feel well enough to see your parents? They're worried about you.'

'Er—I'd rather not. I'd like to take a nap. Could you explain to them?' She looked at him appealingly, knowing she couldn't face anyone right now.

'Of course,' he comforted. 'Shall I bring Courtney in to say goodnight to you?'

'I have to put him to bed '

'I'm sure your mother and I can manage for one night,' he said dryly. 'I realise it's over the month's trial, and that you've been doing very well with him, but are you sure it isn't caring for Courtney that's caused this headache? You've been up in the night to him several times lately.

Before this talk with Janet Morgan would have been warmed by his concern for her, now she wasn't so sure it wasn't just for his son's welfare, that he wanted the very best for him. She was allowing Janet's unbelievable statement to cloud her behaviour in spite of herself, and she was unable to stop her next snapped comment. 'Other mothers do it. I'm not made of porcelain, Alex!' Her mouth was tight.

He looked surprised by her outburst; her temperament had been far from argumentative since they had been married. 'I know that, darling,' he said slowly. 'I just didn't want you to wear yourself out with him, make yourself ill.'

T have a headache, Alex,' she told him impatiently. 'I'm not exactly ill!'

'All right, Morgan.' His tone was gentle, his hand even more so as he touched her cheek. 'I'll bring Courtney in to see you and then you can get some sleep.'

But she couldn't sleep at all. Thoughts kept crowding her mind, images of herself and Alex as they made love, the terrible agony of wondering if it wasn't her he saw at all but Glenna.

Somehow the idea that Alex was the man involved made her doubt her sister's ability to have an affair less. Alex was so attractive, devastatingly so, and when he made love he cared nothing for his own pleasure until he was sure she had reached the peak of her own fulfilment. He was a completely unselfish lover, and to a woman in an unhappy marriage that could be a strong temptation.

She refused any dinner, taking a shower and getting into bed, desperately trying to get to sleep before Alex came to bed too. She wasn't sure she could bear his hands on her tonight, the joy she had felt this afternoon at the thought of making love with him had completely gone now.

She was still awake as he came quietly into their bedroom after taking his shower, and she heard him moving softly about the room preparing for bed. She was dreading the moment he got into bed beside her, and felt herself stiffen as his thigh brushed against the back of hers as he slid in next to her.

'Morgan?' He touched her shoulder lightly.

She closed her eyes at the sensation of longing that washed over her at the feel of his hand on her flesh, sensing his puzzlement as he realised a silky nightgown covered her body; she hadn't hidden her nakedness from him since their wedding night.

'Morgan?' His voice sharpened as he rolled her over to face him. 'Arc you cold, darling?' he asked softly as he looked into her opened eyes.

Cold? She was/rosen, her emotions numb! 'A little,' she said huskily.

He pulled her into his arms, her face against his chest as his lips moved across her shoulder. 'Let me warm you,' he murmured throatily.

'Not tonight, Alex,' she pushed against him, her

eyes dark with pain as he kx>ked down at her. 'I still

have a headache, and I—I '

'It's all right, Morgan,' he soothed teasingly. 'I'm not going to hold one headache against you, not after three months. I'll just hold you tonight, hmm?'

She couldn't even bear that! 'I'm feeling hot now, Alex,' she said evasively. 'I think I'll just lie over my

side of the bed. Maybe I'm coming down with another cold.'

'Maybe.' He released her slowly, reluctantly. 'Are you sure you aren't upset about something?'

'Of course not,' she answered sharply. 'I can't be in the mood for sex every night, Alex!'

'No,' he bit out, lying on his back, his head turned towards her. 'I think we're getting to the truth of it now, aren't we, Morgan? I accept that perhaps you aren't feeling well, but that's never stopped us in the past. Tonight you won't even let me hold you, and now you say it's because you aren't in the mood. Which is it, Morgan, feeling ill, or not in the mood?' he derided harshly.

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