I grew up a child of parents who never showed me that they valued that role. They always put themselves and their addictions first. Their lives were not anchored to mine in any way. But even though this baby is tiny, and even though I’ve only known about it for a few hours, I feel completely tethered to it already.
I just want to be a good mom. I want to give this child everything that I didn’t have. Safety and security. Love that fills their heart. Enough money to always be able to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. Daddies who will love them.
“Are you ready to go?” Hudson asks, appearing through the gap in the curtain. I nod, standing slowly just in case I get lightheaded again, and he rushes to my side to take my arm.
“Woahhh…that’s some kind of dress you have on.”
“I came straight from the show,” I say, looking down at my ridiculous attire. If I could, I would have left the hospital in a gown. At least I would have drawn less attention.
“Here.” Hudson takes off his jacket and helps me slide my arms into the warm sleeves. Hugging it around myself, I hook my arm into his.
“Didn’t you have a purse?” he asks.
“Nope. Who needs a purse when you have seven bodyguards to patrol your every move and a stalker to make eating and drinking a dangerous activity?”
When Hudson’s jaw ticks, I can see how affected he is by the current situation. They were possessive and protective before, but now I have their baby in my womb. I’m anticipating their need to keep me safe will be even stronger.
As we walk down the hallway, my bodyguards fall into step, and at the door, the sight that meets us is ridiculous. Five more bodyguards flank the door, and the other six men who hold my heart in their hands wait behind. Their faces are all marred with worry, eyes searching me over to find any injury or hurt. Hudson’s told them about the pregnancy, but we won’t get a chance to talk about it now.
I wish we could. I wish they could all wrap their arms around me and confirm what Hudson told me.
Instead, fourteen men escort me from the hospital into the waiting vehicles outside.
Mr. Wright attempts to shoulder Hudson out of the way, but there’s no way he’s letting me out of his sight. Sliding into the limousine after me, he sits close, throwing his arm around my shoulders so that the other bodyguards who climb in get the picture. His body language is screaming out that I’m his girl.
When we pull up to the hotel, there are fans and photographers waiting. Hudson gets out of the car before me, already flanked by the new bodyguard team. Before I have a chance to panic, he scoops me into his arms, and I bury my face into his neck, using a hand to cover myself as much as possible. He strides into the hotel as though I weigh nothing, his heart beating a steady pace against my skin.
“Are you okay?” he says.
“Yes.” I tell him, holding on tighter around his neck. We’re in the elevator in less than a minute, and then I can relax. “You can put me down now.”
“No chance.” He smiles down at me, his honey-colored eyes so warm that I feel as though I could rest in their attention forever and never need another thing.
“Blueday is going to have a shit fit when they hear that you guys are back.”
“Maybe,” he says. “Or maybe they’ll realize that you need us, with a baby on the way.”
“It’s hardly on the way. Eight months is a long time. And anyway, not all pregnancies work out.”
“You have to be positive, Luna. Imagine the best, and it’ll happen.”
“I wouldn’t have taken you to be a believer in manifestation.”
He bends to kiss me, not caring that the bodyguards are standing around us, watching and listening to everything. “When we left you at the airport, I kept imagining us all back together. Even when the others were telling me it was impossible, I kept thinking that there must be a way. Something will happen, an event that will put us back in the same place and look what happened.”
“You think you manifested a baby,” I snort. “The baby was very physically put in there before those photos leaked.”
“Maybe,” Hudson says. “Or maybe I just wanted you so much that the universe gave in.”
“Maybe it was me,” I say. “Maybe I wanted you all so much that the universe gave in.”
“Maybe y’all should just stop talking about it. Haven’t you ever heard of tempting fate?” Mr. Wright says.
“Fuck fate.” Hudson sounds so fierce that I touch his face to try and calm him. “You think fate ever has anything good in store for us? No, we make our own destinies.”