How was I to know I’d fall in love?
I watch in silence as he undresses and walks to the shower. The door shuts tight, and I hear when the water turns on. I want to be in there with him. I want to touch him, to feel him. Please him, even. I’d do anything now to make this right.
But I can’t. God, I can’t. I have to live with the consequences of the choices I made.
My phone buzzes in the bedside table. I try to reach for the drawer but can’t open it with my wrists bound like this.
Where is she?
Elise is in more danger than she was before I took her place. Romeo said they would look for her, and Tavi put out a search party. He has records of our conversations and calls. He’ll find her.
I told her to come to me.
She’ll know I’m here. And when she comes… I close my eyes, suddenly so sleepy I can’t keep them open any longer. I’m not dead yet, and that’s the only plus so far in this terrible night. The only reason I’m not dead is because he did what he intended—impregnated me with his child. I used to hate the thought of bearing his child, but now it’s the only thing that anchors me to him.
I wake in the middle of the night, immediately restless. I dreamed of being hidden in forests, running for my friend. And when I heard my husband calling my name, I turned to him. I open my eyes in the darkened room. I see Orlando, hunched over on the sofa. He twists and turns, and I know it isn’t comfortable for a man his size to be squeezed onto a tiny little piece of furniture like that.
“Orlando?” He doesn’t answer, but by the way his body goes still I know he heard me.
“Take the bed. You need it more than I do, and I can’t sleep anyway.” He doesn’t respond at first, but he finally turns over and without opening his eyes mutters, “Go to sleep. If you think I’m such an asshole I would put my pregnant wife on a couch so I can take the bed, you don’t know me at all.”
So that’s how it’s going to be. I roll over but can’t sleep. “Then get over here. So I fucked up. You know I did. You know I would do it again if I had to. And here I am, your prisoner, completely at your mercy. So get over here and lay down next to me and get a good night’s sleep for God’s sake.”
To my surprise, he gets off the sofa, marches over to me, and lays down beside me, but only so he can turn me over and smack my ass so hard I gasp.
“Thought you knew,” he says, “that you do not take that tone of voice with me and tell me what to do.” He wraps his arm around me. I feel his hard length pressing against my butt. Just lying next to me he’s hard. We’ve made love or had sex or fucked each other, whatever you wanna call it, every single night since we took our vows. Tonight might be the first time we don’t.
“You’re gonna break our cycle?”
I don’t know why I am teasing him, why I am pushing him. If I was smart, I’d probably just shut my mouth and let him do his thing. Probably would be the right thing to do, considering I have no idea what’s going to happen when Elise comes here. And I don’t know what it’s going to be like being his prisoner.
“What are you talking about?” he says.
“This will be the first night you haven’t fucked me.”
He doesn’t respond at first. Finally, he sighs. “I fucked you to put a baby in you. Now you have one. Mission accomplished. Now fucking go to sleep.”
I hate the coldness in his voice, but he doesn’t move away from me. In fact, it may be my imagination, but I think he moves even closer. Still, I close my eyes.
If I were him, I would imagine that I’d be pretty hurt right now. He fought Romeo for me, even though he knew full well that it was so against the rules that his own brothers drew weapons against him.
It’s hard to fall asleep, with everything that’s spinning in my mind, my fears above all. But finally, the trauma of the day and everything that’s transpired wipes me out, and I fall into another troubled sleep.
I wake up the next morning with his hand between my legs. For a moment I forget who I am, who he is, and think that we’re just a married couple that’s enjoying honeymoon sex. But when I go to roll over, I feel my wrists restrained. And I remember…