I take her upstairs, slide her to the floor, and undress her. “Bed for you. I’ll call the doctor right now.”
“Can we please call them in the morning?” She yawns widely. “I… I’m so tired.”
I shake my head. “No, babe. I want you seen immediately. It’s important that we make sure you’re taken care of right away. You said you feel a little nauseous?”
She tucks the blanket up to her chin and pales. “A little,” she whispers.
“I’ll get them here right now. We’ll take care of you.” I sit beside the bed and hold her to me. I kiss the top of her head fiercely. I want to tell her that I love her. It feels like odd timing in our relationship to do that, but by normal standards we’ve done everything wrong from the beginning. “Rest, baby. I’ll get you anything you need.”
I leave her resting in that way that makes me swoon, her hands tucked under her chin. Goddamn adorable.
I call Romeo first. He answers on the first ring. “Yeah?”
“She’s pregnant.”
“Ah, brother. Congratulazioni! Aw, man, that’s fantastic news.” I can hear him turn away from his phone and share the news. He seems nothing but pleased, and my heart swells.
It would be a lie to call Romeo a good man. He’s done things that many would never dream of, and has earned his right as head of this family because of it. But he is fiercely loyal to his family. To his wife. And one day, when he has children, to them as well.
He is not my father. Romeo doesn’t share the thread of narcissism and insanity that drove my father to his death. But he is my brother, and that means everything. I hang up with him and walk to Elise.
“How do you know?” I ask her. But Elise doesn’t respond. I walk over to her to see that she’s fallen asleep. I look down at my beautiful bride who holds my child in her, and marvel at the miracle that the past few weeks have brought me. I’ve gone from fighting for my life in the bowels of hell to rebuilding a life of my own. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a chance, but I won’t ever take it for granted.
Next, I call the doctor. But I don’t want to wake Elise. She sleeps so soundly, and I remember Rosa telling me how exhausted she was in the first trimester of pregnancy. There will be time tomorrow for us to see the doctor, to find out what happens next. For me to take care of her.
Tomorrow, we start a new chapter of our life.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Elise”
It was the second lie I told him, and I hate myself for it. Hate. I want to rip my hair and tear my skin for the crime of lying to my husband.
I have reasons, good damn reasons for what I’ve done. But I hate that I’ve taken two of the things that matter most to him in the world and lied about both of them.
I feel as if I’ve taken this beautiful necklace he’s given me, this absolute masterpiece of perfection in jewels, and dipped it in tar. I feel that what I’ve done is irrevocable, and I hate that, because I really do love him. I do.
I hear him pacing the room while I pretend that I’m asleep. Maybe he’s forgotten the phone in the excitement of what I told him just now.
I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not, but I imagine that it’s probably impossible. Well, not impossible. I haven’t used birth control, and we fuck like damn rabbits. But I have nothing to show that I’m pregnant, and don’t know what I’ll tell him tomorrow when that doctor gives me a test, which I know he will, and it comes back negative.
I don’t know what to do with myself. Rosa is here, and I thought I was going to die when she came up to say hello to us. I can’t believe I escaped so easily. I can’t believe it came that close to uncovering the truth.
First time since I came here, I hope that I am pregnant. If I am, it would be one tie to this family that I truly don’t want to leave.
I wish I knew what would happen if they knew I’m not Elise. I wish I could predict what he would do. But I’ve seen that dungeon. I could almost hear the screams of the people he’s tortured, and I’m not naïve enough to think it’s only been men that he’s punished. That any of them have. They may have taken me into the fold, but they aren’t good people. They revel in organized crime, their wealth is built on crime, everything that they do is wrong.
At least this is what I tell myself. I have to, to talk myself out of wanting to stay here, to be welcomed into the fold. But more than anything...