“We’ll see.”
“Okay, man. I’ll call you later.”
“Where are you in the pack order again, Grey?”
“Fourth.”
“So, when will your mate be revealed?”
“Hopefully soon, man. I’m fuckin’ ready. You, Mase, Rye. Me, Joel and Linc are all keepin’ eyes on Jase right now. He should be next. Then me.”
I laugh. And then my laughter dies.
“What about Riley though? Will he find someone else or forever pine for his lost mate?”
Grey lets out a sigh. “He has to heal first, I think. And for him to heal, he has to start the process. He’s avoidin’ that.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. You in the fold, I think it’ll help.”
“But I’m not entirely in the fold, am I?”
“Aren’t you?” he asks.
I chew the inside of my cheek for a second.
“You’re torn about it?” Grey asks.
“I’m torn about her. About what I did to her. I don’t think she’ll ever wanna show her face around you all again. And that’s my fault so the least I can do is do my best to make sure she doesn’t get daily reminders of how I hurt her. If she can’t forgive and move forward, I have to remain…”
“A lone wolf,” Grey finishes for me.
My eyes close briefly as that loss washes straight through my body.
I catch movement from the corner of my eye. Ivy’s standing there. She’s just heard all that.
“Yeah. Whatever it takes. She comes first. I understand. And gotta say, bro, I hope she finds a way to get past it. We need you. You need us.”
“Yeah. But I need her more,” I say, staring at her. Her eyes are locked by mine. I don’t want to release them.
“I know,” Grey says, “Or I don’t. But hope to soon be able to relate entirely.”
“I hope you can, too,” I say, still staring at Ivy showered and fresh and I don’t know how to read the look on her face. “Without this part, the pain part.”
“Sometimes you gotta feel the pain, maybe come close to losing it all in order to make sure you always appreciate it,” he says.
I hold the phone.
“Later, Ty. Keep the faith. Love conquers all, so they say.”
“Bye.” I look at the screen and touch the red ‘end’.
“You’d give them up?” she asks, voice hoarse.
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
“They’re your family. Cat’s your mom. You…” she swallows and secures the towel around her breasts as she stares at me with her wet hair dripping down her throat, landing on her breasts.
She smells so alluring. I want to plant myself inside her again.
This conversation is important though.
“I would like to consider moving to Arcana Falls, to moving in my parents’ house and becoming a member of my pack. But, if you can’t face them after what I did to you in their presence, I won’t do that. I’ll pay that penance and remain a lone wolf here and I’ll do it gladly because no matter what, my first priority is you. I’ll build this into a bigger, better house for you and our children. I’ll do my best to earn your forgiveness over time.” I moisten my lips.
She frowns and sucks on her lower lip.
And then she turns and goes into the bedroom and closes the door.
She doesn’t slam it this time. That’s something. Maybe.
I slump forward in the chair and rub my forehead with my fingertips.
I’ll make her breakfast. She needs food.
I get up and put water on to make honey tea.
I look through the fridge and find the eggs and begin to make her some French toast. And bacon.
I get bits of the eggshell into the French toast liquid and it’s tricky to fish them all out.
The bacon is burning by the time I do that and then when I put the bread in the pan, it first tears, then sticks, and the egg looks fried all around it in white clumps. It didn’t look like this when Ivy made it for me.
It’s shit. Just shit.
I lift the pan, wishing to throw it, but then I do throw it because fuck is it hot! Bacon liquid singes my wrist and I’ve smashed the window with the pan I’ve thrown.
Ivy’s behind me. I smell her, I feel her. I tamp down my rage and spin.
Her eyes grow larger at the sight of my arm. She grabs my elbow and steers me to the sink. “Here.”
She turns the tap on and pulls my wrist under the cool water.
I grind my teeth, hating the burn.
“What were you doing?” she asks.
“Trying to make breakfast for you,” I snap through clenched teeth.
The cool water is helping but it still hurts.
“I’ll get something from the first aid kit your mom brought over. Hang on. Keep that under the running water.”
She disappears into the bathroom and comes back with the red bag with the cross symbol on it. She turns the water off and puts a towel to my arm to dry it, then applies clear salve to my wrist and then she’s wrapping it in a bandage that goes around and around me.