“Harder, Ty,” the male voice urges, and the sound gets louder. The sensation in my chest gets heavier along with my limbs.
My eyes drift shut as I feel like a warm blanket wraps tight around me. That blanket is Tyson.
39
Tyson
I fucked up. I fucked up huge.
She’s broken.
I broke my beautiful Ivy. And I don’t know how to fix her.
I’m in the bedroom in the house I was born in, holding her in my arms in my parents’ bed and she’s asleep, but one look at her and I know she’s broken.
“Why? Why did I do that?” I ask Riley.
Ivy stares at the wall, like she’s not even seeing it. Her lower lip quivers and she’s breathing hard, but she’s exhausted from crying so much. She cried so fucking much. And I did that. I made her cry like that.
Riley, Atticus, and Cat are with me. So is an older alpha called Lorenzo who I was told was on the previous alpha council with my father.
They’re all here for moral support. And the other alphas who aren’t with Mason Quinn are on the property with other retired alphas from the last council.
They’re all here. For who though? Me or her? Or Mason Quinn?
“Tyson,” Atticus says, “Something’s wrong with Mason. He would never intentionally go after your mate. He wasn’t even acting as if she was his mate. We have no explanation for his behavior. It wasn’t right.”
“He’s here,” Bailey says from the hallway. “Outside with Linc and Jase. He wants to talk to Tyson.”
“Hear him out,” Riley urges.
Lorenzo nods at me with meaning.
“A man whose mind is gone needs to be taken out,” I tell them. “Or things like Cornelius happen.” I give my mother a meaningful look.
She looks at the floor.
“We all felt it,” Riley assures. “The alpha council and our elder alpha council all have a connection and every one of us felt exactly what happened in that moment before you reacted. Something is wrong with him. That’s the only explanation. We have to get to the bottom of that. For him as much as for you. We need to know why so that we can fix it. Let’s talk to him.”
“I won’t leave Ivy.”
“I’ll care for her, Tyson,” my mother says.
“No! I’m not fucking leaving her.”
Ivy’s trembling harder in my arms. And then she’s trying to squirm out of them.
I rock her, holding her tighter to me, even though she’s struggling to try to get away from me.
“Purr for her,” Lorenzo tells me. “A female finds comfort from their mate’s purr, even if she’s angry with you. It’s a good tool to have in your arsenal.”
I purr and she settles. She’s always changed behavior since the first time I purred for her. But though she’s settling, she’s again weeping. She’s weeping in my arms. And I fucking hate it.
“Most women, even shifters, want their pairings to be private,” Lorenzo says. “But non-shifters, particularly. You’ve got a long road of groveling ahead of you. I’ll go speak with Mason and be back.”
He pats my back and leaves. I continue to rock her.
“I’m sorry, Ivy. So sorry, baby, please forgive me,” I whisper against her hair while I rock her. I called her baby because I like when she calls me baby. And because she gave me soft eyes when I did it earlier.
She’s weeping and curled into herself. I can’t see her pretty purple eyes.
Fuck. This hurts.
This hurts more than any pain I’ve felt. Ever.
When the red haze comes over me, I do bad things. I never thought I’d do something that would upset her so much. The despair I feel from her is crushing my lungs. It’s hard to breathe for me. My heart beats too fast. My heart hurts.
I’m no better than Cornelius who took my mother against her will. I howl and don’t even realize I’ve half-shifted with her in my arms until I hear “Pull back, son.” Uncle Atticus is talking to me. “Pull back now, Tyson. You’ll frighten her more.”
I shake it off.
Ivy’s mine, but clearly I’ve broken something in her by doing this. And doing it, I’ve also broken myself, I think.
I’ve never stayed half-shifted for more than a brief time. Or I don’t think I have. Except for when… I shake it off. I can’t think about the times Cornelius taunted me to get me to do bad things. That’s why I call it the red haze. I see blood afterwards because I rip things apart.
I’ve never felt such anger before. And such despair now.
“Why couldn’t I kill him? I wanted to fucking kill him.”
“You knew,” he says, “Deep down, you knew, Tyson. We all knew something wasn’t right. You don’t know Mase like we do, but you didn’t kill him because though he straddled a line, he didn’t cross it.”
“And you know him better than you know me. Of course you’d take his side.” I glare at Riley.