This was my fault, not hers. If I’d been shifting each year as uncle told me we were meant to do, I’d have more clarity right now. I’d have gotten to her sooner. And now I’ve shifted to man and the overpowering aroma has me hard, ready, disoriented, and anxious because I need to get to her and yet this car she’s in prevents it. And I want her. I want to claim her. And it’s in the way. And my head feels…fuzzy.
It has always felt foreign to be in this body. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed it, not since that first time I shifted as a child and felt wolf was my true form. But I feel like I will enjoy this form more when I get her under me. The air is cold, and my nails have receded as have my teeth in a scenario that feels like I should be on alert. I feel defenseless out here like this in the chill. How will I adequately protect her if I’m like this?
I will my body to shift back, or attempt it, but it fails and I’m still man. This shift was not a conscious choice, instead a need. And despite how foreign it is, it occurs to me that it’s necessary. How can I help her if I’m wolf? Perhaps I’m man right now because my instinct tells me I need to be. For her. I need to listen to my instinct.
In my man form I’m peering in through the glass at my female who is startled and frightened at the sight of me. She was shocked a moment earlier when I was wolf and now she is both frightened and confused. I see it on her face and smell it in the air. Even more than when her car struck me. She fears me even more now, it seems, than when I was wolf. I’ll get to her, calm her, and then mount, mark, and claim her.
Uncle directed me to woo them at that bar, but I never felt like I was good at that. Successful always, but never comfortable doing it. I have no need of wooing this time, only claiming, because this one belongs with me.
I know she’s not a female of my kind, but that doesn’t matter. I know she’s mine and feel no disappointment. The opposite. Her fragrance called to me; it woke the dormant man in me.
My wolf waits. Intrigued.
I pound on the window and ponder how to get her out. Can she open the door from inside?
Even though I’ve shifted annually almost all my life other than this last few years, I speak very rarely. Only if I must. It looks like I must. She fears me; she doesn’t know she’s mine.
I’d rather show her she’s mine than speak the words of it to her. Metal and glass prevent that.
The haziness is dissipating too slowly. I need more clarity.
3
Ivy
I’m trying to work this out…
Seconds after the wolf disappears from my view, a man stands in the same place. The exact same place. A muscled, huge, naked man.
My forehead crinkles. Can’t be.
Was that this guy’s wolf? Where is it? And where did he come from?
The exact same place? No. No. My brain is racing at turbo-speed, trying to make sense of what my eyes have just seen; trying to tell me the explanation – an explanation that just… it
JUST
CAN’T
BE.
He pulls on the door handle and I gasp. It’s locked, thank God, so he doesn’t gain entry. A long moment passes while he stares at me thoughtfully before he speaks.
“Open this,” he demands in a rough, raspy voice.
I hear the sound first and then see rain as it begins to patter on my roof and trail down the windows of the car.
He pulls on the handle again and it doesn’t give.
“Open it. Now.”
Holy shit. What the heck? I’ve gone from the frying pan into the fire. I have never been so afraid in my life. The rain is picking up now and this guy is drenched. Where did he come from and where’s the wolf? I need to see the wolf, so I’ll know my initial reaction is wrong, that this guy isn’t – I shake the thought that’s circling my brain before it has a chance to fully form.
“Y-you better go.” I find my voice. “There’s a wolf out there. It was just here!”
“Is this door damaged?” he asks, ignoring my warning.
“What?”
“Can you open from there?”
“I – locked it.”
“Open it.”
“Wh-why?”
“I need … in.” His eyes implore me to open the door. But not in a sweet or kind way, as if it’s urgent.
No. No no no. This isn’t right.
“There’s a wolf out there! You better be careful, or it’ll get you. I hit it with my car by accident and I think it’s pissed at me. You better go!” I say. “It’s huge. Did you see it?”