“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“He’s Kindra’s age,” she croaked.
“Who?”
“My sister, Kindra. She was nine when she drowned. That’s how old Dax is.”
She was reliving her sister’s death. How could he comfort her?
“I’m so sorry, Katie.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “But you saved Dax, right? Look how brave you were.”
As he rolled them gently to their sides, supporting her head with his hand, he lifted up on his elbow. His free hand brushed her wet hair off her face, her skin velvety soft to his touch. He willed her to know how much he cared, but he didn’t dare speak it.
Her hazel eyes, deep green with the water’s reflection, looked up through wet lashes. “I’m not brave, Gary,” she whispered, as water that might’ve been a tear tracked down her cheek. “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be like you.”
She rolled away from him as Steven’s voice interrupted. “Let’s get these two back to shore. I’m betting Carla’s frantic by now.”
“Right.”
Gary moved up to man the jib as Steven got their two passengers situated on the trampoline. He glanced back at Katie, who looked frail and helpless, her sopping wet coverup clinging to her soft curves. Yet deep inside resided a hidden strength her appearance denied. To know Katie’s secret mettle was like possessing the only copy of a compelling novel… no one else could possibly understand the wonder of it. It seemed even Katie, herself, didn’t comprehend how amazing she was.
As they beached the catamaran, Dax jumped off the boat and crashed into Carla’s arms. The two cried and hugged each other, the sight making Gary’s throat tight. He prayed it might be the beginning of healing for the pain-stricken family.
Katie gave a report to the lifeguard, and Gary waited impatiently for a chance to speak with her alone. But between comforting the stricken Dax and accepting endless hugs of gratitude from the tearful Carla, the private moment never came.
“We should get the boat back to the rental place soon,” said Steven, apparently unaware of Gary’s anguish. “I need to get in one last bike ride before we leave tomorrow.
Reluctantly, Gary followed Steven back down to the boat. As they hefted the catamaran off the beach, he looked back at Katie. Though she was too far away to make eye contact, he somehow felt their gazes connect. When she turned her back, he suspected she was avoiding him. Later in the day, when she didn’t answer her phone, he knew it was true. She confirmed it when she sent Steven a text, stating she had a headache and was going to bed early, in preparation for their trip home tomorrow.
But Gary had learned a few things from his battle with cancer. One of them was to identify what’s really important in life and pursue it with all your heart. Another was that not trying was the same as losing.
And I’m not a loser!
16
Wide awake, Katie stared at the cheery beach painting on the bedroom wall. Her text hadn’t been a lie. Her head was pounding, and she was in her bed, albeit sitting up, fully dressed, with no intention of letting her eyes close. The question was how long could she avoid sleep and the inevitable nightmares to follow? It had been years since she’d dreamed about Kindra’s death, images of her sister’s petrified face as she fell through the ice replaying over and over in Katie’s mind. But even now, seven hours after Gary had pulled her from the water, she couldn’t stop thinking about the accident that took her sister’s life all those years ago. And her accidental nap this afternoon had yielded visions so terrifying, she’d woken up sobbing.
At least with Dax, she hadn’t made the same mistake she’d made almost twenty-seven years ago, when her fear had kept her from crawling out to pull her sister from the frozen water. Though she’d been told any number of times she did the right thing by running for help, the two people who’d never given her that assurance were her parents.
Friends and professionals had said if she’d gone out on the ice to save her sister, she’d have probably died trying. But Katie had no doubt her mother wished she’d done just that. For on that day, when they learned Kindra was truly dead and her father attempted to comfort her inconsolable mother, Katie had curled up on the floor against the wall, weeping alone. And the first time after Kindra’s death that her mother had acted as if she cared whether Katie lived or died was when she disobeyed and climbed up that tree. And that was when Katie learned that she was responsible for her mother’s mental health. Only she could save her mother’s life. And so she did… by being perfect.
Katie’s cell phone lay in her limp hand, notifying her of the current time—9:30, plus four missed calls and six new messages, all from Gary.
She really wanted to talk to him, but how selfish would that be? He was so sweet, he’d probably listen to her whole sordid story, without judging, and gently tell her everything would be okay. Then he might kiss her and make her want to be with him.
Talk about torture!
She considered calling Nicole. But why? She already knew what her friend would say. “Stop punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.” And she was right, of course. There was no reason to bother Nicole, only for her to repeat what Katie already knew, but couldn’t accept.
I’m an adult. It’s time I quit burdening my friends with my problems… especially Gary.
Her phone rang, and she stared at the screen.
Gary, again! If I don’t answer, he’ll assume I’m asleep.
The phone stopped ringing, only to announce another incoming message
. A smile inched its way onto her face. She had to admire him for his persistence. That’s how he beat his leukemia.