“Would it be so terrible if we kissed? I thought you liked me, at least a little bit.”
“I like you a lot,” she whispered. “But we don’t really know each other.”
“Sure we do.” He maneuvered down the long drive, making the left that led to her grandparents’ farmhouse and stopped the truck in front of the stone walkway, killing the engine. The moonlight flooded inside, illuminating her thoughtful frown.
“Do you trust me, Cord?”
“Of course, I do. What’s got you so worked up tonight?”
“I want you to answer a question, and I want you to be honest. Tell me why you’re so determined to compete in the rodeo. Every time I mention it, you get mad and defensive, or you clam up.”
His heart stopped beating for at least ten seconds. He wasn’t ready to tell her his deepest fears. He wasn’t ready to tell anyone he was afraid he would never measure up to the standard his dad had set.
With unbelievable resolve, his father had refused pain medication at the end, not wanting to miss out on his last moments with his family. Only hours before he died, he’d clasped Cord’s hand, grimacing with pain. “You have to be strong, Cord. Be strong for your mom. Be strong for your sister. I’m counting on you.”
Cord had made the promise, knowing it was one he could never keep. He would never be the man his dad was. Not once, the entire time his father was fighting a hopeless battle with cancer, did he complain. It wasn’t surprising. The man had always been a rock—solid and dependable. He hadn’t been very verbal about it, but Cord knew his dad loved him. Now he was left to fill his father’s shoes, and he wasn’t ready.
I never will be.
“I don’t see where you have any right to criticize me about the rodeo.” He returned to a prior argument. “You’re competing in the barrel racing, even though it’s been two years since your last event.”
“One, it’s not as dangerous as bull riding. Two, Shadow and I have been practicing.” She ticked off her points on her fingers. “And three, I’m not criticizing, so quit trying to make this about me.”
He had one hope of distracting her without bringing his dad into the discussion.
“Is this punishment for tonight, when I got Gary to dedicate Rootin’ Tootin’ Heart-Shootin’ Woman to you?”
A slideshow of emotions flitted across her face, but the one that finally settled in place was a mixture of humor and challenge. “I’m already plotting my revenge for that, even though I like that song.”
“I think you look a lot like Taylor Addison,” he said, hoping to keep her distracted by comparing her to the country music star who’d recorded the popular song.
Jessica’s skeptical expression spelled failure. “Now I know you’re full of it. I don’t look anything like her.”
“You’re prettier,” he said, and he meant it.
Her dimples peeked out, accenting those luscious lips that made it hard for him to concentrate. “Thanks. But you still haven’t answered my question.”
“I’d rather talk about what you said earlier.”
“What’s that?”
“That thing you said about wanting to kiss me?”
His joke fell flat. Her chest expanded and contracted with a huge breath and sadness settled in her eyes. “I need to go.” She opened the truck door.
“Wait!” He reached to grab her elbow, but stopped himself. Something told him he shouldn’t restrain her, so he begged, “Please don’t leave.”
She hesitated, facing away from him, one leg already hanging out the door. Her shoulders seemed to shrink into herself, making her appear small and vulnerable.
“What’s this all about, Jess? We were doing fine. I haven’t pushed you at all. Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?”
“I can’t keep doing this, Cord. I’m starting to fall for you.”
“Is that so terrible?” He swallowed hard. “I’m starting to fall for you, too.”
“It’s not okay.” Her voice sounded tired. Resigned. “Because I’m broken.”
“We’re all a little broken, Jess. Life isn’t easy. But you’re one of the most together women I know.”